A Piece of the Past In White Grey
Finding a Way Out

The shocked face I showed tried to turn me into a smile. My lips couldn't even smile broadly, there was clearly fear behind this smile of mine.

"Mommy?" I greet the woman standing before me at this moment.

Mami could have scolded me and Gara at this time because obviously I did not reject her when my sister kissed me on the forehead. I feel so scared, all the bad prejudices continue to rule my mind at this moment. My body trembled as I watched Mami step slowly towards me. I could only close my eyes when the hand was raised. I'm preparing to endure the pain of Mami's slap right now.

"What's wrong with you? Why is it weird like this? And what is this, Agatha? Look at your hair like this." That soft hand I think rubbed my head. Where Mami says if my hair is messy.

My eyes opened again, it felt really relieved when I knew Mami didn't want to slap me. The guilt and fear I feel right now is like trying to drive me crazy. This is all because Gara who is too presumptuous to do as she pleases me.

"Come, Mi. Um...Mommy why are you here?" I asked who looked very nervous.

"Well, Mami was going to put that in your room. Eh Mami instead saw you standing like a statue in front of the door. What was? Because it hurt you?" asked Mami Tasha who had wrapped her hands in my arms.

We walked like peers to my room where Mami wanted to bring the storybook she had borrowed to me. I just smiled and shook my head. If only Mami had known she might not want to talk to me again.

"I'm sorry Agatha, Mi. Agatha was wrong to be an indecisive Brother." I muttered feeling very guilty at this moment.

However, Gara remained innocent, as my brother was the one who had to teach her all of this. However, all of that was defeated by my feelings of also loving Gara.

I put myself to bed early tonight. The house was quiet as usual again. At the moment there is also because it does not feel the same. He never got together with me like he used to. We've really changed and I know that's what Mami and Papi feel as parents.

Until finally the time came for Gara to return abroad to continue his studies. I'm glad at least there's a distance that can separate us. And I promise to focus on my college and my life for the future.

"Oh yeah it's okay. Careful on the road? Don't forget the right job help Papi." Because I felt my embrace return. His hand rubbed my back while whispering.

"I'm gonna miss this hug of yours." I just kept quiet and didn't reply and immediately retreated to take off that hug.

Mommy and Papi I see just smiling looking at me. They were happy when they saw us coming back close like this.

"Agatha, are you sure you're not taking Gara to the airport?" ask Mami who feels I'm acting like I usually am.

"Yes, Mi. I've been sending you to the airport." They chuckle at my words. Soon I left the house to be picked up by my college friend.

More precisely the close friends I am currently trying to get to know each other. Maybe that way I can forget how I feel about Gara.

"Hi, Tha." said the man named Mikael.

"Hi, thank you for picking me up." I said smilingly into the car.

I turned for a moment towards the house where it turned out that Gara was staring at our departure. I didn't pay attention to my sister's gaze. This is what I want. Like I used to have a relationship with a male friend no matter how my sister feels.

"I'm sorry, Gar. This is the best for us. I hope I graduate college soon and get a job. I wish I could get out of this house and get married soon." I said in my heart.