SYAHDU (Contract Sleep Friends)
Stabilizing the Heart to Return

If I had to remember you again, I wouldn't be able to do what happened to us.

If forgetting you is easy, it won't be hard, it won't make my heart tired.

...***...

"Syahdu.if your heart still feels something is stuck, go, meet him."

Syahdu shook his head. For him, life is over. How he was tormented, so too must be felt by Arga. All of this happened without her asking. He also had no idea Arga was waiting for him all this time. He also did not ask the man to love him and Syahdu sure, all this is only about time. One day the man will get used to it and forget it. Just as he was currently feeling an indescribable pain.

"Syahdu feels. It's just because Arga showed up and said something like that. Syahdu just carried away because it has not been honest with Mother. But now it's better, okay." Answer the girl.

"Do you want to be like this forever, Syahdu?"

Nani's question made Syahdu reflect. He doesn't know either. If only he could ask, then he wanted Arga to forget all about him. Everything was. I wish that man was happy with another woman.

Nani slips a child of hair that flies into Syahdu's face. He raised the wet face of the girl.

"You have run away all this time. And the problem behind is still left behind. Nothing is solved. You yourself do not remember your wishes. So, until whenever you can't forget this."

Not to be confused with desire? Syahdu sighed. Has it been unclear if he just wants peace and happiness? Ask in the heart.

"Trus.. What should I do, mother.."

"Recover, son. Solve what is still in the past. It's all in your hands. If you want to finish it, then finish it well."

Syahdu pondered again, he could not imagine how to go again to the place where he wanted to disappear, where problems continued to arrive, where humiliation for the sake of humiliation he received, he said, where he betrayed Wicak and made the man die.

"Look, what progress have you made for yourself? No one's. Only your body is here, but your soul and heart are still there. That's what makes it hard for you to accept the other men in your life."

Nani hugged her as Syahdu could barely hold the tightness in her chest. Syahdu also felt that what Nani said was right. During this time he never really forgot all the events of 7 years ago. And the presence of Arga lately makes the memory even visible and not buried in the slightest.

...~...

Syahdu opened another box containing memories of him and his past. He took the Wicak jeket that he had brought since setting foot into this village. Maybe he'll just give Adit that jacket. Because the boy once whined for Syahdu to lend him. But Syahdu won't let anyone touch him.

He then took the jewelry given by Wicak, necklace and ring. Also the savings book that Wicak gave him. All that will be given to Nani Syahdu, as a sign of gratitude for caring for him and the children who were abandoned all this time.

When he wanted to close the box, Syahdu's eyes caught a small red jewelry box. Syahdu stared at the box long enough until he grabbed it.

It slowly opened the box until a ring with beautiful eyes gave off a sparkle. The ring was the one Arga gave her right on the night of the man's engagement.

Shahdu touched the ring. He always liked Arga's choice of whatever it was. Without him realizing that they turned out to be one taste.

Syahdu took a deep breath. Will he give this ring to Nani? But his heart felt heavy...

Syahdu closes the ring box, inserting it again into the big box. Then he looked at it for a moment.

Is it true that he has to go back there even if he just says 'no' to Arga? Should he come? But, if his presence was just to say that, wouldn't it be outrageous? It is better for Syahdu to remain silent here until the man finds his new love.

"By!"

Syahdu was aghast when he heard the loud call of Tari who was already standing behind him.

The girl crouched down to take a picture that had been in the box since.

"It's. It's Arga Xander, right?!!"

Syahdu closed his eyes tightly, he forgot that in Tari knew Arga as his idol.

"Yes, right?? It's Arga, right?? So.. So you're the same older brother Arga??"

Not yet Syahdu replied, Tari shouted hysterically. "So Arga's sister is a friend?? Crazy waahhh. Cool! You know his phone number, right?? Kasi know me dong, brother. Aaaakk.."

Syahdu was stunned to see how excited Tari was with a myriad of questions.

"Kaak, let's go to brother's. I really want to meet him. Couldn't call her and tell her to talk to me, sister. It must be really cool if he wants to talk to meuuu.. Uh, when's this a photo, brother? You guys are going up the mountain, right? Arga's face has not changed, yes. It used to be so handsome. This is his real face, isn't it, brother? What was my brother first? No crush, same him? No fancies, brother. Gosh..."

Syahdu laughed to see Dance like that. His eyes can't be seen from Arga's photo.

"Eh, don't worry." The dance suddenly stopped. Long time he silently looked at the photo, then back to see Syahdu. "Here he saw brother, you know. Yeah, right? I didn't see it wrong, did I? In this photo he glances at brother, that is. What don't-don't-"

Dance fell silent as Syahdu forcefully pulled the photo from her hand.

"Don't speculate. We are college. Ah, brother's out."

Dance took back the photo and ran out.

"FROMIIIIII!!" Shouted Syahdu chasing after the girl who had disappeared somewhere.

...🍁...

Syahdu was in the room with Wicak. They laughed and joked together. It was exciting until Syahdu laughed loosely in the arms of Wicak who just smiled at him. The man's hand gently stroked Syahdu's hair. He listened to all the babbling of the girl until it was time for Syahdu to rise up because he was hungry and wanted to take food.

"You want to eat too?" Tanya Syahdu and Wicak just shook their heads.

Syahdu brought his food into the room. When he entered, he did not find Wicak on the bed. Where is that guy?

Syahdu put a tray filled with food and drinks. He's looking for a lizard to the bathroom, the kitchen, nothing.

The girl came out of the house, asked whoever was there.

"Liat Wicak?" Ask Shahdu to passers-by. The man shook his head.

Then he turned to someone else who was there. Say the same thing as if everyone there knew Wicak.

"Shahdu."

The call made Syahdu look over. Arga stood near him.

"Where are you going?"

Syahdu ignored Arga's question. He spread his eyes around, looking for Wicak. But the man was invisible.

"Syahdu, where are you going?" Ask Arga again but Syahdu ignored him.

Syahdu saw a train leaving. He ran towards there, breaking through the people who were flocking to want to get on the train.

At the end of the hallway, Syahdu saw Wicak sitting in a wheelchair with an oxygen hose on his nose and an infusion in his hand. Behind the man, there were three people guarding him. I don't know who, Syahdu can't see their faces clearly.

Syahdu was slow. His heart was sliced at Wicak who looked calm yet pale. What's that guy been sick all this time? Why are there so many tools in his body? Syahdu does not know.

"Sister." a raucous voice made Wicak look at him.

As usual, Wicak's calm face told him he was fine and Syahdu did not have to be sad. But free, seeing it makes Syahdu come in pain.

"Big brother why?" Syahdu asked with tears flooding his cheeks.

"So why are you suddenly so rich?" Asked the girl again, stepping closer until Wicak stood up.

The man held both shoulders of Syahdu. He kissed Syahdu's forehead long enough. I don't know why Syahdu's feelings are so broken. All he knew was that the kiss was a sign of farewell.

"Sister, don't go.."

The boy sat back. Then someone behind him turned back the Wicak wheelchair.

The man waved his hand with a smile.

"Sister, don't stay with me!" Shouted Syahdu, wanting to chase but his hand was grasped by someone.

When he looked, it turned out that Arga was behind him.

Syahdu looked back to the front, where Wicak walked further and further away.

"Yeahah!" Shouted Syahdu, but Wicak only smiled while waving to the two people.

Seeing the departure of Wicak, Syahdu sobbed. She was crying because the hurt feelings were coming.

"Don't stay with me, kaaak. Huuo.." Syahdu cried out, but the lizard had disappeared.

"Yeah!" Shouted Syahdu as he sat down from his bed. His breathing was stingy, so much sweat flooded his body even though the night temperature was very cold.

Syahdu felt his eyes, it was already wet. He was crying again in his sleep. Syahdu hit his chest that felt pain. Not only tears, the pain in the dream was carried to the real world.

"Shahdu.."

Nani went into the room. He heard Syahdu yell earlier.

"The same dream again?" Asked the old woman while sitting on the edge of the bed.

Syahdu. He wiped away the tears that were flowing without him noticing.

In the past, Nani knew Syahdu only dreamed of his lover. But after the girl was honest, it turned out that in the dream there was also Arga.

"Mother.."

"Yes, son."

"W-what.. Shahdu has to come back?" Asked the girl, even though she knew what Nani's answer was, she wanted to hear it again so that she would be more determined to step up.

"Yes, Syahdu. Come back, solve your problems there. That's the path you have to take so you can move forward for the future."

Syahdu pinched his forehead which started to hurt. A long-lost dream has now resurfaced. All this was probably due to the presence of Arga.

Syahdu also nodded. He was now convinced that he should go back and finish all that was left in the old place.

TB

**Sorry if tomorrow is late up yahh work gw many bgt🥴**