SYAHDU (Contract Sleep Friends)
The Appearance of Guilt in the Heart of Syahdu

Lord, You know I love her and no one can change her.

God, only he is always in my mind, in my mind - BlackOut

...*...

"You guys want to go? Where you going?" Arif had just arrived in front of the house when Syahdu and Tari had just closed the door.

"We're going to town, sir. Someone wants to buy." Answer Dance.

"The town? Want me to drop you off?" Ask Arif to Syahdu.

The girl nodded slowly. "That's necessary, Rif. We both took public transport." Answer Syahdu in a limp tone. Because he is sleep deprived, thinking too much about someone to make it difficult to close his eyes.

"You're all right, right?" Arif approached, his hand wanting to hold Shahdu's forehead, but the girl reflexively rewinded her head.

"I'm healthy, really. I'm first yeah, Rif." Syahdu pulled Tari's hand away, while Arif was still speechless with his hand hanging. She was a little disappointed because Syahdu did not treat her like a dating person in general. Just an example of this. Syahdu.

But he tried to understand. Like the story of Nani yesterday, if Syahdu was left dead by his lover. Because that might make him run away from his old environment. So, Arif must be patient and understand the condition of Syahdu.

"Sister why? From last night was weird and more silent." Tegur Dance as they are in a pick up that transports them to the city.

"Neverything, Tar. Brother's just a headache."

"Not told you from earlier? You know, we can cancel the trip."

No, he wanted to go to town for another purpose.

"Kan, want to buy the food you want. Relax, it's just for a second." Answer Syahdu.

After a few hours, they reached the city. Syahdu headed for a mini market to buy the ingredients he needed.

Syahdu stopped in one of the large billboards. He looked up at the familiar face there. Arga Xander, he lost his father's name. Arga was already very famous even in a remote city like this.

"Sister, we go to the cafe first, yes. Just a minute." Dance touched Syahdu's arm, made him realize.

Syahdu nodded in agreement, and followed Tari towards the internet shop.

"Messenger two." Syahdu said, making Tari look over.

"Two shirts? We can, can change."

"Let's hurry." Syahdu looking for the corner. He didn't want to be bothered by anyone including Dance. While the little girl got the front spot.

Syahdu opens youtube. Yesterday from Tari's story, Arga was on a podcast.

Syahdu's finger was ready to type Arga's name, but he stopped, hesitating. Does it need to get like this? Syahdu began to fight with his own mind. If he's come this far, why do we still find out about Arga again? Shouldn't he just ignore Arga? It should have been, but something stuck in his heart.

Slowly Syahdu fingers typed a name that immediately came out so many concerts, video clips, and interviews of the man.

He chose Arga's latest podcast, which he watched 2 million times a day. Slowly Syahdu's hand grabbed the earphone and stuck it in the ear.

Syahdu watches Arga's face inside the screen. A face he had not seen for a long time. His heart trembled as he looked at Arga's smile there.

A female YouTuber is a host in her channel. Syahdu began to focus on listening to the voice that once whispered love in his ear. Arga, not much has changed from him. Only, the man was getting brighter.

Syahdu is there. He's not moving at all. Word by word that Arga took out of his mouth made Syahdu all this time ignore something.

'Well.mad. So brother feeling in blue keeps dong, sis. What if the girl is married, has a husband?'

'Hopefully not.'

'If so, brother. If for example, he is married?'

Syahdu closed his eyes. Is this really about him? Does Arga really love her? Even until now? He wondered in his mind.

'If he's married...' Arga lowered his head for a while, then raised his face with a smile. 'If he is married, I congratulate him. May you be a happy family.'

'Eh, is that it?' Ask the woman again.

Syahdu squeezed the collar of his shirt which was shaking because his heart was beating so fast.

Why is Arga so? Why did he say as if I liked him?? Ask Syahdu in his heart.

'Our podcast theme's gone bad, guys. Haha. We're next question yuk.' The girl on youtube chanel was trying to make the atmosphere back bright.

'Next question yes, brother. How long is a girl, brother? Call her favorite girl, dong.'

'I told you belom was dating, you believe me, don't you?' Ask Arga in the podcast.

'Dong, brother. Not maybe.'

'But I've never dated. In my opinion, the courtship was not for playfulness but seriousness. If I'm supposed to date, it means I'm serious about that girl.'

'Wwwiiisss.it's really cool, Arga. So, seriously never been dating? Trus, the girl that sister told you about?'

'She's my dream girl. Well, not until I can really prove if I love him very much, so do not make love.'

'But actually brother waited for him all this time, it's been part of the proof.' Tukas the youtube host. 'About the dream girl? Tell us, brother. Rich how the dream girl brother.'

'Hmm..' Arga seemed to think. 'How yes, he explained. I also don't understand the feeling I came to him suddenly, anyway. Haha.' Arga laughing. Make Syahdu carve a thin smile. Glad to see Arga can laugh like that, although it is not known by Syahdu that Arga did that because in front of the camera.

'I'm sure he's in my eyes really cute. No one can describe her, she amazed me.'

'Fortunately anyway, that girluu..'

Syahdu stared at Arga's smiling face on the computer screen. He touched it as if Arga was in front of him. Unknowingly he had returned all the feelings he had been craving all along.

'Next questions. In a moment, right, brother Arga's birthday, what the hell is the most special? What do you want a gift?'

Arga squeezed his finger on the table. His face changed, and he smiled again.

'I don't really like birthdays.'

'uh? Why is that, brother?'

'Because he left me right on my birthday.'

The girl in front of Arga was gaping. 'Seriously, brother?'

Arga looked at the camera, as if he was staring at Syahdu.

'Seriously 'Seriously. He gave me bad memories right on my birthday. That's what makes me actually not happy. I feel sick 7 years it reoccurs every birthday. And honest.. I don't like my birthday."

Talks are still ongoing but the dam in Syahdu's eyes has been destroyed. He shed tears. Arga doesn't like his birthday, because of him. He inflicted wounds on Arga's heart for years without her noticing. He was very bad at that man.

Syahdu just left the cafe. He walked without spirit. After hearing all Arga's chatter about her real life, Syahdu felt guilty.

The girl squatted suddenly. Ignoring the people who passed by while watching him in wonder. Syahdu doesn't care. At this moment he was unable to feel the pulse in his heart. Why does he feel this sad...

"Oh my goodness, brother. I'm looking for it squatting here!" Dance helps Syahdu stand. Her brother's eyes were wet.

"Lho, you cry? Wh why? Does it hurt, his head?" Panicked dance, she looked back and forth, looking for the nearest clinic.

"That's okay, Dance. Brother is better. We're going home, okay?" Syahdu walked ahead first, leaving Tari with all his confusion.

Along the way Syahdu just daydreaming. Dari did not dare to ask anything. Syahdu is not as usual.

Arriving at home was still the same, Syahdu chose to enter the room and did not join dinner. It certainly made Nani worry.

After giving Syahdu time, Nani began to knock on the door of her adopted son's room.

A few times I knocked, no answer. Nani ventured to open the door of Syahdu's room, but the girl was not there. The room was neat and the bed was untouched.

"Where is Syahdu, bun? She was still inside." Dance worry. Because Syahdu said his head was very dizzy. But after checking, the room was empty.

**One more chapter yes**