Hating Love
I Wait for You to Realize...

I need you more than anyone else. I'm even jealous of those who have the chance to mature with you.

God is unfair! I was tortured desperately but still not comparable to the others, while they continued to say that I was not worthy of the struggle that I had been doing.

This world is funny. All underestimated me but if it needs help the first person that comes to mind is me.

I am too kind to others but I am cruel to myself until my crying is over, looking for sensation and even often ignite envy from the hearts of the spiteful.

Tied as an actress who should get an OSCAR award but they don't even know the pain and torment I receive even makes them say that all I do is an art performance drama in a performance the theater of sadness with the actor or the main actor is myself.

It's ironic that everything I do is considered a game...

I even started not caring about the people around me just because I didn't want to be disappointed by their assessment of me.

I had obviously escaped from all the bad events that made me suffer, but was there a choice I could make other than to run away and live it all as if nothing had ever happened?

I admit that I can't handle it alone.

Without friends, relatives or family I can trust.

I fell into a very bad state when I remembered that everything that happened because I too often felt hurt either because I was betrayed or lied to, but until now this heart and self are not ready to open again.

^^^*These tears have flowed more profusely than the waters of the river, this heart has been broken to pieces like a glass cup that accidentally fell off the table and touched the cold floor which is even cold almost the same as your attitude that will warm when you need help from me.^^^

Thank you for speaking from my heart because the hurt you gave me made me realize that I have no one to lean on when I think God is unfair to me* *and I'm sorry that my service to you is not worth the service you get from those who leave you to me when you're in such painful pain without even turning your head and thinking about how you feel that's.

I am amazed at you people who want to be used by others but I am more sorry for myself because I am also like you*.

You were taken advantage of by him without you knowing but I know that I was used by you but I volunteered to help you without asking for any reward or other conditions.

I'm stupid or too kind-hearted I don't understand but what comes to my mind is the pity of seeing you and not having the heart to let yourself be a bum out there, then I hope that one day you will change and get better but hope is just hope not the reality I expected.

You are still the old you who are not even aware of my presence, while I am the one who still helps you and is always by your side when you are in trouble.

*But it seems like it's time for me to let you go so that you know and realize that I've walked away and left you for your own good even though you still don't realize that I'm selfish for leaving you are helpless alone without a destination but if you continue like that you will not grow up to be better, mature and open-minded.

^^^^^Congratulations,^^^^^^^

^^^Sx*...^^^