Getting Married Due to Misunderstanding
2 Tsarkasan Alisha Adnan

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Trying to be recognized by the closest people only makes our minds more insane. When obsession permeates our minds and hearts, then, that is where we will face the brink of stress. Some people around me often say, 

"There is no need to be really ambitious, Al, not all things, you have to achieve. You are still human, act like a human. There is no perfect man in this world but the Prophet."

"The more you force yourself to be perfect, you will only make yourself miserable." I just kept quiet to respond to every good advice from whoever it was. But after the time I went through and I was finally able to think well. Their words were all true, the more I tried to be recognized by the people closest to me, there was only a tiring feeling in them that I was unable to get. 

When I was in elementary school until high school, there were a lot of people who compared me to Alesha. They said Alisha did not deserve to be Alesha's twin. He is too fat and ugly to be Alesha's brother. Alesha is like a star at night that flashes in the dry season, while Alisha is only a moon that appears in the rainy season and fog. 

Since high school I started to lose weight. Unfortunately, I failed to achieve my ideal weight. Because I had to be rushed to the hospital because my stomach acid suddenly rose. The way my diet is really unhealthy, all the stupidity of people on earth seems to accumulate in my mind. I wanted to be skinny, but the way I did it was completely wrong. Mom and Dad didn't know I was on a diet. When I was rushed to the hospital because my stomach acid suddenly rose. When they come it is not the feeling of affection that they show. On the contrary, I got a lot of anger from both my parents. 

"Can't you stop looking for Alisha? Over time I'm really sick of your behavior." Mom said at the time. 

"Why do you always worry us, Alisha? Let's see Alesha, she can be a role model of your life. Try her example!" He began to compare me to my twin.

"Alesha .. Alesha .. and Alesha, did you ever see me as Mama and Papa's daughter?" I was so emotional. But not unexpectedly if Papa's hand drifted faster to my right cheek. I just grimaced in pain. 

"Don't fight when the parents talk."

"And what are you dieting for, if you finally have to be rushed to the hospital?" asked Papa so upset.

"I diet to be thin, let Mama same Papa not shy ngakuin me as a child Papa and Mama." I answered with a high tone. My words succeeded in making them both stare. I held myself back from crying. Even though tears are no longer able to hold. Then Mama and Papa came straight out of my room.

I have a myriad of inner children that are quite bad. I grew up not getting affection from parents, lots of prohibitions, never got gifts from parents after getting awards, bullying SD to High School. Then, after entering Junior High I grew up to be an ambient person, a cold person, and not very interested in relationships. If Alesha secretly keeps changing girlfriends, I never even once dated. Once I like someone, that person even likes Alesha. Miris is not. He's too perfect to be my rival. 

"Eh Alisha, don't you realize you like Affan? Look at your body! Your body is like an elephant." Said a man his friend Affan mocking me.

"Affan is more compatible with Alesha than you." 

"Where are elephants the same handsome prince." Said again. All this time I was quiet enough without returning their treatment. But once I avenge them, they are silent. I kicked the three of them in turns making them grimace in pain.

"There are still no, words from you that are more painful? Who knows, I could lose your future valuable asset." I said it made them feel like they didn't believe it. I finally kicked them back in turns until they made the three of them fall to the floor. I deliberately practice taekwondo every day even though my body is quite large, at least when moments like this I can beat them properly. Every word in the past I always remember it in detail. There is a sense of wanting to forget but the more I try to forget the more I remember something.

"WOI Alisha, take care of me." Said Raffasya deliberately shouting beside my ear. Which makes my heart beat pretty tight. 

"Can you, if you don't scream? I'm still normal." I said a little annoyed but made the boy chuckle. Raffasya it has a hobby of disturbing the peace of people.  

"If it's normal, why shut up? Noh look! the classroom is empty." He said he made me realize that this room has no occupants other than the two of us. 

"Trade's already disbanded?" my question is so relaxed. 

"Bengong mulu from earlier, please step aside, want to pass." Said. I immediately got out of my seat. Then we both walked out of the classroom. Our friend always said, if we are more worthy like siblings than a friend. 

"Al, may I ask you a question?"

"Just ask, I think it's serious." 

"Why aren't you dating?"

"Because I'm a Muslim, I don't need a date." My answer is so relaxed. The man next to me just smiled. 

"You said you were a Muslim. Why not wear hijab? Isn't that a mandatory order for a Muslim?" askanya as we walk towards the parking lot of fashion design faculty. Azura and Hafizha were already there. The two children were fanning their faces with hand fans.

"Gini yeah Raff, not all the haram things I have to do." I said. In friendship we always use you. Even if we live in Jakarta. 

Maybe for some Jakarta people using me-you who do not have a relationship or other relations will sound taboo. At first I also felt that way, I just used the word me-you just in the family. The rest I use my word-you or I-you for all strangers. When we first met on campus, I always used the word me-you, as a result of the person who became my best friend today feels stiff to hear it. Because they use lo-gue more. But in the end they were quick to adapt because I often slipped using me-you. And right now we're using your me-your subscription only in every neighborhood closest to us. 

"You drink alcohol often?" raffasya asked doubtfully. 

"Does my face look like a good drinker?" Instead of answering, I asked back.  

"Well, is there a face that reflects he's a good drunk?"

"Are you really not drunk or rarely drunk?" ask Raffasya more introgasiku. He's like a Papa who doesn't trust me easily. 

"I never got drunk. Why, still don't believe?" ask again. He just shakes weakly. 

"I've been in illegal motor racing a few times, but that doesn't mean I have to drink alcohol. I have strong principles. Once I decide something, I won't falter in the principles I've taken."

"I think it's illegal to stay haram. It will not suddenly be halal because it begins in Basmalah."  

"My stomach will also not support me if I drink alcohol often." I clearly. Raffasya nodded in understanding with my explanation.

"Do you have the intention to wear a hijab, whenever it's time?" 

"Doain is the best. Look, Azura again read the spell!" I said. 

"That's not a spell, Al. But, he's talking to us." He said a bit emotional. We approached them both. 

"Crazy for so long. What the hell is that? Why does it have to be long? Life is not necessary to hurry, but it does not have to be too late." asked Azura directly reciting an unclear spell. He pulled my arm after saying,

"First, bye." He said so briefly with pent-up anger. 

"Azura, calm down. Not all anger should be appeased, not all problems should be complained about, and not everyone should know about what we are doing." I said I made the boy drag my arm even rougher until I got into Azura's car. He deliberately asked me to drive him to his house. Raffasya gave me the nickname as an unpaid personal favorite driver.

"I've just been cut off, Beb." Azura said complaining dramatically when the car engine was successful I turned on. I looked around to park the car out leaving the parking area.

"Keep me what? Tell you with good advice? A waste of time. If finally you also prefer to go back again with your ex."

"I was in vain to say the magic word, if you finally choose to be hurt again." I said it was sarcastic. Another nickname from the people around me especially the close ones, Alisha Sarcasm Adnan. 

"Neither is Alisha Adnan. Because I love him, I'm confused if I want to leave him. He always apologizes if he has done something wrong, so I don't have the heart. He's also very nice." Azura was still praising the person who had hurt. Azura continued to speak, while I just kept quiet without poking her words. 

Because someone will be tired when advising a bucin because his brain has been retired. Any magic word would never reach his brain. All I did was listen, without the need to answer the mellow's vent from him. That is enough to make it better for people who are complaining because of problems. Women if they are having problems later, he told a long story, they do not need a word of wisdom, they only need a hug or tranquilizer others to him. Especially for people who have a love language physical touch.

"Please cry out, you've been in school for 13 years. Should have thought, if hurt, cheated, yes you stay! Why survive? You're wasting your time trying to catch a disease." 

"Please open your eyes, open your heart, and open your mind! You do not feel sorry for both of your parents, they are difficult to make money for you, let their children become intelligent and successful people. Not to be a fool for falling in love." It seems like my mouth can't be braked. Once I was upset, my words only became a slap like giving poison to someone else. Too bitter to consume which eventually makes the debate.

"What do you know about love? The relationship never." Azura said not accepting with my statement. I knew I was wrong, I shouldn't have said the sarcasm to Azura who was feeling sensitive.

"Oh sorry well, I experienced no need to jump directly to do something let alone something wrong. The experience learned from the point of view of many things."

"Please remember this! a temperature does not need to jump directly into many problems, he can understand something quickly." I'm definitely calmer. But my words still pierced like the tip of a sword piercing into the heart.

"Al, it can't be, if you say, don't keep going. Do I have to slap the same words you keep saying." Said. I only chuckled as the boy began to accept what I said. This is my first time being too sarcastic with Azura. Before I gave advice too softly. Until when he was immune to my gentle speech, I threw a very sadistic word.

"It's just fine to get slapped, if you're never self-conscious."

"Huaaaaa .. so sad to have a friend who makes it mental." Said. I immediately apologized for all of my words. He hugged me, making me freeze. Because of the fact that I'm not comfortable being hugged by anyone. I am not Alesha who is always given affection both verbal and physical like a hug. 

"I'm driving again, please don't make me die from that hug." I said making Azura speechless with his misgivings is not good.

"meaning?" asked Azura in a high tone.

"I think I'm phobic with anyone's physical touch." Obviously I kept the boy quiet digesting my last explanation. 

...___________...

...To be continoude ...

...Patience Al, patience. Don't let Azura's mentality fall. ...