Getting Married Due to Misunderstanding
11. The Exhaustion of Disappointment

...The leaping of disappointment...

..._____________...

"I agree" said Papa who suddenly stood beside Mama. The middle-aged man who had the status of being my father easily said those two words without asking for my approval first. My eyebrows fused together.

"Father," I would like to comment. But Papa didn't give me a chance to talk.  Papa immediately raised his hand, he gestured so that I would not refute. At that moment I was really disappointed with every decision Papa made. And at that very moment I started to get angry, why should I be part of the Adnan family? if all the life I've lived, I can't choose.

And finally I'd rather run away from the engagement hall. I ran very fast while crying. I know, I'm being disrespectful to all of them. But I was forced to leave because I didn't want anything else to happen without me. Everyone I've been through just wonders in my heart. What's wrong with him. I said sorry a few times when I hit someone accidentally.

My mom and dad are after me. Sometimes calling my name. "Alisha wait!" but I don't care about their words. I kept running while covering my ears tightly with earphones.

All the moments that happened in my childhood instantly crossed my head. I hate it so much when I want to forget all the painful moments in the past, instead re-emerging by itself without me asking. It was as if I was in a place and time that had happened. 

Where the moment when we were still in elementary school, Alesha always got the first champion from first to 5th grade. There I was always envious of Alesha's achievements. Even if I was in second place, still, Mama and Papa did not consider me a champion. Then Alesha was invited to travel to Singapore with Kak Hanzal as a gift from Papa and Mama because he had managed to get a proud first champion. I wasn't invited. Lia said they just wanted to go to the hospital. But until one week they didn't come home. I waited at the front door like a fool.

And a week later they came home regardless of my whereabouts. Aju is used to not being considered by those closest to me. So I tried so hard to make myself look okay. Even if it hurts too much. Pretending to be okay is better than having to seek out the sympathy of those around me. I have always acted independently and thought maturely before my time. I am also a person who does not like to be troublesome and also does not want to be bothered. Papa and Mama always boast Alesha and Kak Hanzal in front of everyone. But my name was never once mentioned by my parents. Even my name was never known by anyone.

After they returned home from Singapore, Alesha told me everything in great detail while in Singapore. The boy was always fiery when he said something. I can just shut up without saying anything. My tears can't just flow. There are too many tears that I have wasted. And at that very moment I promised myself I would not shed tears of sorrow. At that time we were still living in Bengkulu city. At that moment I felt sad, a few questions came to my mind. Why didn't they take me? Am I not their daughter too?

Not only that, Mama and Papa always lied to me when they went for a walk carrying Alesha and Hanzal. No matter where they go, domestically or abroad. Alesha should have been like that too, she didn't have to tell me anything that happened. I think knowing nothing is better than knowing everything but it hurts.

Sometimes Alesha is always given a reward when she gets an achievement for her hard work. Unlike me, as hard as I try to get something until it works, all the things I do are just pointless, because no one will care at all. Even Hanzal's sister behaved like that. I never got close to him. And strangely enough, only yesterday was I close. I kept harboring all envy towards Alesha. Until in the end slowly I hated what Alesha had. Sometimes I become a stranger when I meet Alesha. I'm lazy to talk to him. 

When other people ask, what happy moment do you do together until it cannot be forgotten? I just answered, nothing special. Because I don't remember anything. In fact, I remember every detail of the time I did and was with anyone. Until that second passed and until now, I still remember well what I did and people did to me. I said that, because I didn't want Alesha to be considered my enemy. As much as I hate him I still have a love for him. It's just that I'm very proud to reveal.

I stopped when Brother Hanzal managed to catch up to me. He immediately blocked my hand. "Stop pretending to care about me! I'll never believe your drama, Doctor Hanzal." I said while glazed. I won't cry in front of people who are blood-soaked with me.

"Alisha, don't be childish!" he said firmly. His firm face jaw started to harden and his cheeks were reddened.

"Who's acting childish? I only left the guest of honor Mr. Fatih and Ms. Rumaisha. Because I'll never want to be concerned with them." I clearly.

"Alisha, they're our parents. Please catch Brother first!" he said it made me laugh.

"Remember Doctor Hanzal, your sister is just Alesha, Alesha Adnan." I said to express all my disappointment to him. I don't care anymore about Hanzal's feelings. I really hate all my family. Brother Hanzal started to loosen his hand from my wrist. I wiped my tears and ran on a motor matic, I know who the owner is. Azura, the careless one let the key of the motor still hang in the keyhole. Did the kid accidentally feed the burrow?

...__________...

After going through the highway up to several kilometers, I thought it was far from the reach of Hanzal.But it turns out that the man instead asked his four best friends to look for me. I stopped on a quiet street, the intention was I wanted to call Hafizha I wanted to stay at her house. But I also don't know if Hafizha has gone home or is still at the venue. But I instead met with five motor moge who were stopping circling my bike. They deliberately made me die of fleas, because the motorbike I was riding on could not run anywhere. 

Hanzal took off his helmet and got off the bike. The man immediately stepped quickly towards me. "Alisha, go home now!" said Brother Hanzal pulled my wrist forcibly. I felt pain when Brother Hanzal very tightly grabbed my wrist. 

"Doctor Hanzal, I don't want to go home." 

"No need to argue," our eyes exchanged glances of hatred.

"Zal, please don't be so rude to women! Remember, he's your brother. Treat her like you treat Alesha." Barra reminded. Then Barra got off the bike and approached us. 

"Not interfere! He's not your brother. It's our family business." Said Hanzal did not accept. 

"Yes, Alisha is your family, because she's your real sister. I also have no desire to interfere. But don't be too rough with women. Control your emotions Zal!" barra said in a calm manner.

"Please!" I said. Suddenly Brother Hanzal raised his hand and slapped my cheek very hard, making the four friends of Hanzal's brother surprised because they could not believe what a Hanzal had just done. I grimaced in pain, until my cheek was bleeding.

"You're crazy, Zal? You can slap your own sister. Alisha is your sister, Zal." Said Barra directly clutching the collar of Kak Hanzal's shirt.  The man stood there in disbelief if he threw his hand at his sister. No matter how cold Brother Hanzal is, he has never been rude, let alone light-handed. 

"Alisha, Brother apologize," he said with a trembling voice. He tried to grab my hand, but I was tepis.

"Tonight you've proven, if you've never been good to me." I said standing staring at Brother Hanzal's eyes. I asked everyone to pull their bikes over. They immediately pulled the motor brandA just butih bebera seconds. After that, I immediately hit the gas. I don't know how many km/h of gas I'm pumping. It all felt really fast, until I finally got out of control and hit a truck. The last thing I remember before my consciousness was gone was, I fell bouncing into the grass. After that I don't remember how I could have hit the truck.

..._______________...

...Be continoude...

...okay, Alisha started to vent her anger...