DISPUTE OF HEART
Way of Life

Asha walked gontai through the hospital hallway, her mind wandered somewhere, the sound of Mamih's pleading still lingering in her ears, what steps should Asha take? Asha never knew if this day would come, the day that Mamih was begging her for the first time. Mamih had always been kind to Asha, giving and granting all Asha's wishes, loving Asha sincerely since both Asha's parents were gone forever, but Mamih never asked Asha for anything. Making Asha become uncomfortable at the same time unpleasant on her own if Asha had to ignore Mamih's request. 

“Asha?” 

Asha turned to the source of the voice, her steps halted when her neutrality met a middle-aged woman along with several women of similar age range. They looked enthusiastically looking at Asha fixedly with exaggerated judging gazes, making Asha become a little uneasy. 

“Oh, Aunt?” Asha approached, then immediately kissed the back of the woman's hand, kissing the left and right cheeks politely. 

“Asha why in the hospital? Is Asha sick?” the woman asked with a worried look. 

“No Aunt, Asha just visited Asha's sick brother” 

“Oh so? Where's brother Asha, can Auntie also visit him?”

Huh huh?

Asha wavered, immediately her head shook in confusion, why should Asha also meet with her Mother Abhimanyu at a time like this? What kind of destiny is this?.

“No need Aunty, his besuk hours are up” Asha reasoned, and immediately embraced by his mother Abhimanyu. 

“Alright then, sorry Aunt couldn't visit him” 

“It's okay Tan, Auntie herself why is it here?” Asha glanced at the Mothers who had been busy whispering behind Abim's mother. 

“Tante out of sight of his friend Auntie” said he explained. 

“Jeng? Who'sisthis? Know dong same us-we” suddenly the mother with a plump body nudged the body of her mother Abhimanyu. Making Abhimanyu's mother crackle unpleasant to Asha. 

“Emmmhh, this is Asha, Asha this is my son-in-law's candidate”

Deg

Asha fell silent, staring at the face of the mother of Abhimanyu who was now smiling brightly, proudly showing Asha that Asha was her future daughter-in-law, it is clear that Asha has not yet made any decision for Abhimanyu and his family. 

Powerless if you have to disappoint Mother Abhimanyu Asha just smiled awkwardly when a group of Mothers are alternating to regret it under the pretext of getting acquainted, then one by one praise Asha with a sincere smile on their faces. 

Asha sighed heavily, whatever Asha should do now, his heart was in dispute, had to choose between Abhimanyu a sincere man who would accept all his shortcomings, a good man who would fight for him, or consider Mamih's request which was also very good since Asha was a child. Everything made Asha dizzy, repeatedly sighing slowly Asha was so frustrated. 

*** 

“Gue is so confused with Dis” 

Asha covered her head with a pillow when the girl visited the house of her best friend Gendis, it happened that today Vidi was working and Gendis invited Asha to visit her home. 

Asha tells of all the turmoil in her heart, where Asha is in a confused mode giving answers to two men who hope for her, busy thinking of the best answer that will not hurt Mamih or the hearts of Abhimanyu parents. 

“Why be confused anyway?” Gendis glanced at Asha who was still rolling her body over the fur carpet. 

“Yes try Lo shadowin, Mamih and Ibu Abhanyu, both parents hope a lot with me, hope to accept their children to be a companion of life I, I have to answer what Dis?” Asha returned to whining. 

“Kok Lo still think about how they feel anyway? Now I want to ask you, how do you feel? How do you feel about Lo?” Gendis asked in a firm tone. 

“Means?” Asha frowned deeply. 

“I mean I want your heart now how? You're comfortable living with who's Sha? Briyan or Abhimanyu? Lo choose one of them, keep Lo break up to choose who, not because Lo feels bad, keep Lo mutusin to live with the wrong person, just like before, just like before, Lo is still young Sha, Lo right to be happy” Gendis expressed his opinion calmly, facing Asha not necessarily with violence, but must with a softness that is also firm. Asha lost the affection of her parents from childhood, Asha will be very uncomfortable if it must be based, or Asha will be increasingly acting strange. 

“But seriously I feel bad about Mamih and Abim's mother, their gaze is hopeful, I can't do it for them to be disappointed” Asha again submerged her face in the cushion of the sofa. 

“Asha! The sha! Try listening to me!” Gendis throws the cushioned sofa in Asha's embrace, revealing Asha's tangled face. 

“It's not the concept Sha!” Gendis shook her head looking at Asha inside, making Asha frown deeply. 

“Means?” Asha was still with her confused look. 

“Sha, no way of life, before Lo makes others happy, Lo must be happy yourself, before Lo loves others, love first Lo herself, Lo first, before Lo love each other love themselves Lo Sha” Gendis firmly said. 

“But Dis I can't, I feel like there is something stuck if for example I can't make people who already love the same I'm disappointed” Asha thrashed when her shoulder held by Gendis. 

“So no, Lo must be happy in his own way, not in the way of others, the concept of happiness is not to make others happy then make Lo's life suffer!”

“Move on Sha! Wake up! Get up! Don't be in the same abyss, five years Sha! Five years after Lo's divorce! Can't you move on? Is Briyan's charm so drowning Lo's sanity? Until now, Lo is still happy to make Briyan as a consideration, iiieeewww if I do! Udah digituin same man, ogah back again, let alone meet again 'alah males!” with gnash Gendis continued to shake Asha's body. 

“But my heart is not always strong Dis! I did not b..”

“Customize Sha! Force it! Push it! Don't be in Lo's comfort zone too long, or Lo will bablas be in a terrible place forever, Lo want the incident past and then repeated again? you want the same drug dependence, Lo want to continue to do a series of tests and teraphy for the soul Lo, or Lo want to continue ... “

“Ngak Dis, nope!” Asha shook her head, her tears were already scattering. 

“People who really love Lo will nerima Lo as it is, people who really love Lo will never leave even though Lo asked her Sha” Gendis hugged Asha's body which is now vibrating strongly. 

It turned out that as far as Asha hid her wounds and pain, in front of Gendis Asha's only friend was a weak, helpless woman, her heart was too fragile to accept all the facts. 

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