Among the Million Love
Chapter 25 ~ After Breakup

My eyes were swollen from last night's crying, this would not have happened if I had not let go of calling ‘pacar’ while talking to Edwin. Being too happy is not good either. In my room, I've been shutting myself up all day here. My parents were very disappointed with me, especially Mama who did not stop cursing when she met me.

I was too confused to make my own decision. Told papa's mom that I wanted to have a meeting with Edwin's family, under the guise of having a home tour. A happy smile, that was their response. For Mama and Papa, my desire to visit Edwin's house brought a breath of fresh air. Guess, I was about to speed up the wedding process. I deliberately did not tell you the real reason for coming there which was none other than to sever my relationship with Edwin.

And Edwin? What if I don't keep my promise to come explain to his parents? The man will definitely tell the truth without any loopholes and the news of me having a boyfriend will be widespread throughout the universe.

Can you guess ‘kan how the expression of everyone who was there when I said that I rejected Edwin's proposal? Of course they were surprised not to play. Mama even slapped me, either too upset with me who was not frank first, or because of shame with my actions that spoke plainly in front of her best friend. I'm sure Mama must have been very embarrassed at the time.

I'm such a brash kid, huh Ma? I'm sorry Ma, Pa, Dysa didn't tell you this before.

When Mama's anger was at its peak, I saw Edwin just silent as if he did not know the real cause. I just defended independently. It's better than her interfering and saying that I had a boyfriend for eight years. Thanks yes, maybe this is a little form of help from you (may Mas Edwin read this part yes. Sorry also because I never put my heart on you 🥺).

Recalling the unpleasant events of last night, even whatever words I said, I did not remember them in full. Just remembered when I said ‘Sorry Aunt, Om, Mama, Papa. Dysa came here only to say that Dysa and Mas Edwin could not further the relationship. So, the proposal submitted to Dysa at that time, Dysa rejected it.’ Imagine for yourself how the expression of everything, except Edwin who just grimaced full of satisfaction. I know, he's the one who felt like he won because my game ended tragically. The oath! I never intended to play with his heart.

(To Mas Edwin: Sorry yes, if you were made a paper because of our togetherness. Remember, not all comfort means love. I'm comfortable with you because I think of you as my brother).

I never regretted saying that word. Sooner or later I will say it too, just the wrong way and time of delivery. The debtor is because of my parents' anger, they are very disappointed with me proof that I spent a long time here but one of them no one came to or at least offered breakfast.

Yes, I am the brash one.

Dysa, the troublemaker, put the family to shame.

...***...

Tomorrow.

This morning I was preparing to come to my favorite place, the hospital and meet the residents. The weather was so hot even though the sun had not yet risen. Indeed sunny and hot capital has become the daily intake of the city community. Different from the usual day, today I was no longer escorted by Edwin. Departing alone using a taxi, even my car does not want to function because long I did not ride. Eitt's.. Don't you think if I feel sad about losing him huh? Like this is better and more free.

Setting my steps into the area of the dominant white building with three floors that are fenced blue nan high, the health center in the middle of this city. The atmosphere was at first glance silent, yet somehow many bodies were lying weakly inside. Only a few sisters in tosca uniforms and watch doctors passed by in front of my eyes, as did I who was proud and enjoyed being a part of them.

From the opposite direction, there was a stranger walking towards me, Dr. Andre. Waving my hand at him, but not getting the usual response. I forget that my problem with him is not finished, whether I am wrong with him I do not know why.

“Doctor Andre!” I screamed even though I got no response from him.

“Bang!”

“Bang Andre!” The pace just got faster, I was caught chasing after him.

Why the hell is he? Does he know if I lied about Dika's life back then? Hah, the long time is right?

“Doctor Andre!” Complete isn't it, I called him? He stopped because there was another doctor telling him that I was calling him back here.

“Bang, why is it called a street anyway? Don't hear?” Already know he pretended not to hear, why do I ask?

She shook her head.

“Again busy huh?” His answer only raised both eyebrows. Not caring for me, he slipped his hands into his white coat pocket.

Huh, sok idih.

“Have, later lunch together huh? Dysa wait in front of musala huh?” Again the response was silent. Arriving in front of my room, I say goodbye first. Even though I knew he wouldn't say a word. I think this guy is not an adult. His body was macho but his mind was kendho - a word from my grandmother.

Because of the new policy regarding the reshuffle of working hours, then from today my schedule is advanced early, so later in the afternoon I can go home sooner and not late at night. I am a child specialist, honestly I really enjoy it and also my work is not too much. Only serve appointments, consultations, or take care of patients in the child's inpatient room as my responsibility, take care of hospital administration in carrying out the role of membership staff, and, and sometimes I can help with general patients if the general practitioner is overwhelmed. Helpful to others, what is wrong?

I heard the voice of the chastisement of the hospital's muse, hastening to carry out my duty towards the Almighty God. As I said this morning in front of the musala I await the arrival of Dr. Andre. Sitting on a long bench located not far from the Muslim worship period, I sat down while playing my phone just scrolling up the homepage of my social media account. Nothing special, everything seems boring.

I waited in this place alone for a long time. Become a spectacle of seliweran sisters and doctors. They greeted me, maybe more precisely they were about to ask what my activities were. I swear to what, my eyes were wide-eyed as the annoying doctor was walking in crowds with the other doctors just passing by my side.

So shy to the bone! He only glanced at me and then again spread laughter with his friends.

It sucks!

Didn't accept seeing her laugh herself, soon I caught up with them. Run after the doctors.

“Wait!” All stopped in their steps.

“Hai, why would Dysa eat in the cafeteria too?” Rika, the veiled obstetrician asked.

“Iya, can I come with you guys?”

“Come, doc. Just follow. More people also happen.” Doctor Kevin chimed.

“Okey, thank you.” My speech.

At the long table of the hospital canteen, that was where the six of us ate. Facing each other, including me dealing with doctor Andre.

“What message do you want? Let me order.” Doctor Richard offered.

“Doctor Dysa? Kevin, Rika, Hem, what message do you want? Doctor Andre?” All silent, confused choosing the menu.

“Hem, doc. I just drank ice tea. Hehe.” Okay, I'm starting.

“I'm the same,” Doctor Rika.

“I also yes.”

“I too, deh.”

“Take all.” Said Dr. Kevin. Dr. Richard said he chose the same lunch menu. I didn't think my mess menu would be another doctor's lunch menu either.

A few minutes passed, waiting for my lunch to come. Just busy myself by circulating my eyes to the next table it turns out they all also eat ketoprak.

Is this a ketoprak day celebration?

Or the birthday of the ketoprak menu seller?

Dr. Richard came to bring a few servings of ketoprak with the help of the shop owner in this canteen.

“Kok all on ketoprak meal, bu Mirah?” I asked the seller of my subscription ketoprak menu.

“Iya, just now Richard said he wanted to order a favorite ketoprak menu mbak Dysa, six servings. And others he said follow the menu mbak Dysa only, so mbak.” Answer ma'am Mirah.

“Hah? How come? Usually not ‘, right? So, warung bu Mirah so crowded dong? Hahha.” I laughed, it was weird. Yesterday today all canteen visitors eat ketoprak?

“Maybe they also want to try eating Dysa's favorite menu. Mbak Dysa is beautiful.” Ms. Mirah.

Huh huh? What does eating ketoprak have to do with me, Mom?

“Bu Mirah makes Dysa navel rotate. ” said Andre, he managed to embarrass me for the second time.

“Indeed, Mas Andre said they were watching Dysa eat mother-made ketoprak almost every day. Because they are curious about the favorite food mbak Dysa, yes it's a bustling mother's shop. See that.” Ms. Mirah showed me her shop, it's crowded. Yeah, well, I know if they're watching my diet every day.

“Ya already enjoy, I stay first yes.”

“Yes, mari-mari, Bu.” Doctor Richard was standing.

Stirring my ketoprak medhok seasoning, adding two teaspoons of sambal, soy sauce, and do not forget to take one shrimp cracker. Not caring about my coworkers who follow step by step presents a special ketoprak version of myself.

“Yes, it's good that these are the coconuts. Doctor's favorite menu Dysa no cans indeed.” Doctor Silvia said after her first bribe.

“Iya true.”

“Lezat indeed.” All argue the same (sedap) taste on the ketoprak.

“Dysa doctor's choice will not be wrong huh? Indeed our tastes together.” Rican.

“Iya, including the affairs of the couple huh Doc? Must be very careful, do not let the wrong choose.” Doctor Kevin chimed in with a joke.

“Hah? How do I connect to it?” Wonder what kind of situation is this? How am I the object of conversation?

“Yes, so definitely it is. Doctor Dysa is a superior woman, beautiful, kind, smart, certainly has high taste. Well, the evidence until now he has not been able to match his criteria. Aren't you, doc?”-doctor Silvia.

“Hem.” Just smile at the knot.

“But for me, doctor Dysa has met my criteria. How about being my partner, Doc?” Doctor Kevin. Yes, the dreadful king is the one.

“Hus! Kevin, remember Mas' wife. Dah can bini gorgeous begono too!” doctor Rika hits doctor Kevin's arm. Dr. Kevin, a married obstetrician, even his wife is a pharmacist at his drugstore.

“ May be, but do not be the same me.” My answer.

“Here is the beautiful doctor Dysa charming sex, make your choice now. There must be a lot of people, right? Different from me, I was from birth, there has never been a guy who shot me, upssss!” Silvia, the general practitioner who spoke freely.

“Hahahaha!” Laughing because of the words of Dr. Silvia.

“Honest, Mom! Feel in so sad.” Doctor Richard, the man's doctor elbowed Silvia. I also laughed even though I was not up.

“Ih, errata. I mean no one's ever shot me because I blocked his cell phone number first.” The woman's doctor's wrong behavior.

“Hushhh-Husssh.. Do not accept justifications of any kind. The point is the same, there is no guy who shoots in his lifetime loe ‘kan? Hahaha.” Doctor Rika, it's really nice to laugh at your own friend huh?

“Uh, but fortunately I'm married. Unlike Dysa doctors who are even much older.”

Ceps! All mouths were tightly closed, no laughter or the clinking of a flatware. The sentence really makes the silence of the canteen.

“Mmm.. Sorry doctor Dysa.” Lirih Silvia said.

“Hem, no problem. How about silence? Continue eating dong!” I said without hesitation.

“Doctor Dysa, angry?”

“No. Why be angry?” Hi, who's angry? I'm not a child who snaps, unlike the same doctor Andre yes.

“Once again forgive me.” Silvia said, the atmosphere became awkward. I hate this kind of atmosphere that just breathing just feels uncomfortable.

Why does the canteen seem so quiet? Though there are many people here.

Come on, I'm not too offended by what he said. Why do they feel uncomfortable?

Until we got back from the canteen, only silence enveloped. Everything looks different, no more laughter. Why these?

“Doctor Dysa, forgive me.” Again –again he apologized, I just nodded without expression. Why do I have to apologize so many times?

In front of my room, there's only doctor Kevin and doctor Andre. Before Dr. Kevin turned to his room he said to me.

“Do not put the heart yes the incident earlier, do not get angry ya?”

Which incident the hell? Who did Silvia say that I was not married?

“Yeah doctor Kevin, where there's the hell I'm angry. No really, hem.” I showed my widest smile, showing that I’m fine, really.

“Hahaha, have I gone first? See you.” Doctor Kevin said with a wave of his hand.

“Doctor Andre?” Only he is still standing here, indeed his room is not too far from my room.

“Mari, doc.” His words were short and stiff, then left just like that.

“Formal once.” My murmured that I was sure he could still hear my insinuations.

Forgetting what is not worth remembering is not something for some people, but not me. That is the key to my life that always looks prosperous, I was able to forget quickly what I do not want to remember.

Make it simple, okay?

...***...

Afternoon came, deliberately I did not intend to go home quickly because of the atmosphere of the house that was depressed. I'm still afraid of Mama's nagging. Two hours late from my time home, I was still sitting in the work chair, alone, and in silent company. Waste time to see the news that is milling around on the social media homepage, many scholarship accounts and famous campuses that have sprung up there. I used to follow the accounts so as not to miss the news about the lecture. Seeing that, remembering the incident several years ago when the invitation letter strata two torn Mama. He said I didn't have to continue to that high, that's enough.

For a moment I remembered my past.

“Dys-fr.. Dysa! Here!” Mom called me from downstairs.

“What's up, Ma?”

“See this, these few days there are letters coming. It says to you, Dys. My mom doesn't understand, she speaks English. Try reading this, a letter from anyone?” She gave me seven envelopes.

Observing each letterhead, at first glance looks foreign to the logo and ends the stamp like an official letter from other official agencies or institutions. And how surprised I was when I read the letter. The return address of the top universities at home and abroad is written,

Huh huh? Oxford University's?

The University of Barcelona?

The University of Amsterdam?

Indonesian Universities?

THE ITB? THE UNAIR? THE UNBRAW?

My mouth that was gaping because I still could not believe it, made Mama even more wonder,

“What letter Dysa? Divorce papers?” As for Mama, Mama joked when I had tears.

“Ih, Mama.” I laughed and wiped my tears of joy.

“This invitation letter further college, Ma.” A happy light emanated from my tone. Really, everything comes from the heart. How happy I was then.

“You mean?”

“Dysa can invitation to continue S-2, Ma!”

Crying and laughing right then and there.

“Lecture again?”

“Iya, Mother. In fact, Dysa can be invited to continue studying abroad. America, Netherlands! Europe, Ma!” Shouting happily.

“Ma, Dysa can choose one of them! Mama Dysa wants to choose which one?” Wiggling mom's arm.

“This is the chance Dysa, Ma. Scholarship, Ma.”

“Please, Mom. Tell Dysa, which one should Dysa accept?” It felt like my heart was beating so fast without any control. Another Mama who looks ordinary, her eyebrows just raised next door, then snatch the invitation letter.

“Drawers.” Pinta Mama forcibly snatched the letters in my grasp.

“You want to flap, Ma? Mama is not happy Dysa can continue S-2?”

“No!” Answer Mama. My mom cut the paper.

“Ma! What did Mama do?”

“Mama! Stop, Ma!” Mama didn't give me a hand, she finished ripping the securities up to a small piece.

“Mama, Dysa please! Give Dysa a chance to continue school, Ma. Huks huks.” I could only cry, my mother had managed to cross off one dream from my wishlist. I thought Mama was bad to me back then.

“That's enough of your dreams, Dysa! Don't bother yourself to study and learn every day! Life is not for fun with science lessons alone! Reallylife, life! Your life needs you! Without a scholarship Mama Papa can afford you, but do not expect you to get the blessing of Mama to continue college!” That's what Mama said, Mama spread the piece of paper into the air along with one of my thoughts that also flew without me being able to hold.

For the first time Mama forbade my move and for that reason I also obey Mama.

Mama is no longer happy, I forcibly buried that one dream. But I still hope that someday Mama will allow me to continue my S-2, Aamiin. (Cloaning my heart at the time).

My tears were pouring down in light of the events of that day, I had to accept the fact that I had been backed up from the S-2 scholarship. Yeah, my daydream was spoiled from being startled by the vibration of a cell phone in my desk drawer. Papa called, man,

“Halo, Pa. Assalamualaikum.”

“Waalaikumsalam, Dysa has not returned?” Saut Papa's.

“It's done, Pa. Dysa is packing.”

“Go home when it's done, there's someone waiting for you at home.” Papa.

“Yes, Papa.”

Who is waiting for me? The mama? Or who….?