Post-divorce
Part 17's

...Don't forget to leave a trace...

...Like and comment after reading...

...Vote too if you like...

...Happy reading to you...

"Amanda."

Mother greeted me who was staring standing on the doorstep of the family room of this house, Mother's greeting woke me from daydreams.

"Hmm, sorry to interrupt your conversation, Amanda told Ummik to take samples of materials and sketches of the dress design." Mas Rama just looked at me fixedly, I approached Mom to kiss the back of her hand.

"You heard everything Amanda?" Ask Mom, I nodded too.

"I'm sorry Amanda overheard Mom and Mas Rama talking."

"It's okay, Son, I'm grateful you heard Rama's words earlier, I'll give you a chance to talk, Rama please be honest with Amanda." Mother left both of us, before she passed by and she patted me on the shoulder and whispered softly in my ear. "solve all your problems." after that she passed from before me.

"When did you start?" He just kept silent but kept looking at me, "why didn't you say from the beginning that feeling?"

"If I had said it, would you have changed your decision to marry Janu? No, right?"

"How can you know what my decision is if you try to be honest with the feeling of love that is in your heart you don't do?" 

"you mean? Do you have the same feelings as Amanda?"

"What does my heart feel, I know enough, because my answer will not change the situation, in fact we already have a partner, how do you feel with Tasya? How can you love two women at once?"

"I don't love him, I just consider him a friend."

"But in fact you're going to marry her, right? Or is Tasya just your escape?

"Maybe." he said looking indifferent.

"Why can you play with a woman's feelings? Arghhhc ... I don't care about the feeling of love that you feel, because I don't think love without a proof, your love for me is only a breeze and then it will never be achieved."

"You're wrong, my love was deeply rooted in this heart, before you married Papa Atma, I've loved you from first sight even though you never realized it, is this considered my love only last wind?"

"What have you been doing all this time? Why are you just being quiet and cold to me? Not expressing your feelings at all."

"I don't want you and Atma to stay out of my life."

"You are wrong, for in fact your attitude will keep Me and Atma out of your life forever."

"Please don't say it's Amanda!!!" said Mas Rama half-shouting, he eroded our distance, stepped closer to Me. "Do you know what I'm feeling, how painful it is to see you and Janu smiling at your application, the more suppressing this feeling the more I feel pain, the more, not only my heart but my body was unable to endure the pain of this deep-rooted feeling of love, I love you Amanda."

"Do you think you are the only one who is sick and suffering Mas for the attitude of silence and harboring feelings that you do? Don't you think how Atma feels and how I feel? Do you think after nearly five years with Me and Atma it's not sad to part with you?" 

"Yes I'm selfish, too late in the fear of losing you, so close my feelings all this time from you."

"It's too late Mas, live our lives by the choice of our respective spouses, only one request of mine, stay away from Me and Atma, let us start a new life without you, don't make it harder for Atma to part with you, she loves you so much. I don't want Atma to be disappointed or sad and to rely on you more and more." My tears are no longer unstoppable, I cry just want to put out tightness in the chest that feels squeezed.

"Amanda, don't do that, I beg you!!! Atma I considered my own son." Hearing Mas Rama's reply, I just smiled bitterly at him.

"You need not consider Atma your son, for soon you will have a son from Tasya, you will become a husband and a father of the seed that Tasya contains," I removed the tear from my cheek. "Honestly, right now I'm disappointed in you, not because of the love you've secretly felt for me, but I didn't expect your relationship with Tasya to be husband and wife-like, I guess you're a nice guy who values a woman's honor."

"Sir, Atma asked to come home immediately," I turned my body towards the voice of the Gita. "Aren't you okay?" I nodded in response.

"It seems like there's nothing more to talk about, I'm sorry maybe this is the last time we talk, I hope you'll be happy with your life choices and path, thank you for loving Atma all along." I approached Gita and pulled her hand out of the house, arriving in the car ....

"Yes mom crying?" Ask Atma to me

"No boy, it was just like a little animal came into Mama's eyes "Atma was sitting on my lap, she kissed my eyes that were still a tear, and kissed my nose which I felt looked red.

"Lying is a sin, right, Mama said? Atma knew she was crying, did Aunt Tasya go inside and scold Mama again?"

"I'm sorry Mama, son," I hugged Atma and kissed the top of her head "Mama can't make you happy yet."

"Forget it Brother, sorry I accidentally heard Brother's talk, does Brother love him too?"

"Yes deck, for almost five years with the new Brother realized there was love for him," I wiped away the trail of tears on the cheek "Sister will definitely forget her deck, I will definitely forget her, moreover, he will be Tasya's husband."

"Mama also love Papa Rama?," Without I realize Atma listening to the talk of Me and Gita even slightly understand it, I did not answer just a thin smile.

"Let's go home, grandma's gonna be waiting"

"Geez, brother, we forgot Ummik's order," Gita patted his forehead "let me go inside and ask Ratri's mother." 

I was waiting for Gita in the car with Atma, I saw Tasya's car coming and parked the car next to our car, I just sighed rough. 'My god why am I meeting her now? there will be trouble again.' Rutukku in heart, sure enough he knocked on the glass window of my car, he said,

"Hi Amanda and Atma, what do you want to come here? I warned you to stay away from my life and Rama!"

"Tante don't be mad at Mama, if Auntie is angry, Auntie will look like a zombie" Atma said to make me smile, I didn't expect Atma would imagine Tasya's face would be like a zombie.

"Hey .. educate your child properly don't mock adults like that."

"As an adult you should understand and understand that children have a high imagination can even imagine you become a zombie figure." I smiled at him, he looked upset and left our car to get inside, Atma laughed.

"Let's go home!!! It's done, don't linger here I'm worried about adding to the problem" said Gita while sitting at the steering wheel, we also returned home.

We were home, my body was tired, not only my body but my heart. Me and Atma were in the room at the moment, and suddenly Atma hugged me tightly, 

"Dear, why? Hm? Tell Mama." she just shook her head weakly, I felt wet on the clothes I was wearing, I pushed slowly Atma's body to see her face, and sure enough Atma was crying.

"At-ma ka-ngen Pa-pa Ra-ma, hix hyx ...." His voice stammered with sobs, I hugged again to give her peace.

"If Atma misses, just pray to Allah, Atma can complain anything to Allah and pray Papa Rama to be happy, that is all Atma can do. The prayer of the devout child must be heard by Allah, sorry dear, Mama did not allow Atma to meet Papa Rama. Mama doesn't want us to fight again with Aunt Tasya." Atma still shed tears even though it was not heard Isak crying, separating Atma and Mas Rama turned out to feel this painful, from the baby Mas Rama had become the figure of a Papa for Atma. 

A few minutes later, I went back to the room after cleaning my body, I saw Atma was tidy with Koko's shirt and skullcap on her head, she really did what I said, Atma had finished performing his prayers, sat down cross-legged and his hands looked up, I heard the clear prayer he said ....

"can't Allah Atma ask Papa Rama to be Papa's link to Atma? Had Allah granted the Atma prayer, Atma promised to pray diligently and be a good son" said Atma.

"give us happiness, O Allah, Atma misses Papa Rama very much, but Atma must obey Mama's request not to meet Papa, Atma does not want Mama scolded by Aunt Tasya,"

"Atma please God meet Atma with Papa Rama even though in a dream, Atma was quite happy to meet Papa in a dream, give Atma, Mama and Papa Rama happiness, Atma kangen Papa Rama, and Papa Rama, Atma wanted to be embraced by Papa Rama every day as before." I saw Atma wipe the tears that had flowed on his cheeks maybe he was imagining the moment of togetherness with Mas Rama.

"name ...." Atma said at the end of her prayer.

Hearing the prayer that Atma said, these tears again burst out with a rush by holding the sound of my sobbing Isak from behind the door outside the room, I could only sit and cry. As a mother I felt like a failure, I could not make Atma happy, even I forbade her to meet someone who became her happiness. Mas Rama, how much you mean to my son, Atma ....