Post-divorce
The Part 16

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I saw Atma was calm and not crying, after cleansing the body, and feeding it, Atma I asked to rest by lying on her mattress because she looked tired after a long period of crying ....

Drttt .. drttt .. drttt ....

My phone rang, Janu Brother made a video call, I shifted the phone screen, not how long my phone screen displayed the figure of Kak Janu's face that had looked fresh with a shirt and towel that was still hanging on his neck.

"Assalamualaikum, beautiful afternoon, where else?"

"Wa'alaikumsalam Kak, again in the room with the hotshot." I shifted the phone towards Atma who also smiled to greet Kak Janu.

"Hi handsome, looks like someone's been snooping, huh? You're the same Mama Amanda, hmm? His face was bent like that," Atma just covered his face with her hands in shame "hey boy, boys don't cry, if Atma is weak who will look after Mama Amanda? Om Janu can't take care of you, oh yeah why didn't Mama and Atma drop Om yesterday?" 

Degs... Kak Janu's question reminds me of the mistake I made to him last night, I have to be honest even though later he will be disappointed.

"Sister, I'm sorry I've planned to even take the hospital errands in the morning to be able to drop off brother, but ...." My sentence stopped, Atma shifted my phone screen.

"Om, this is wrong Atma do not be angry with Mama again, just Aunt Tasya who scolded Mama. Atma asked Mama to take care of Papa Rama who was sick, and Atma fell asleep at Papa Rama's house."

"Tante Tasya who's dear?"

"Women who will marry Papa Rama." I can only resign when Atma told everything to Kak Janu, Atma very innocently told me about everything that happened and finally she came back crying.

"Yes Atma don't cry anymore, it's not Atma's fault, and Om won't be angry with Mama Amanda, accompany and take care of Mama Amanda ya as long as Om Janu is not in Indonesia, okay?," Atma nodded her head and a smile rose on her face "already yes, Om no business outside, want to go first, Atma rest yes, drugs handsome boy and Mama Amanda, wassalamu'alaikum."

"Wa'alaikumsalam dada Om." Atma disconnected the call and handed me the phone, not how long there was a message on the phone, I opened the message ....

[Don't feel guilty for not being able to drive me yesterday, I just hope you keep my trust as long as I'm not by your side, who always loves you, Adnan Januzaj.] the words of Kak Janu make me feel more guilty about him, why is the love for Mas Rama present when I will start a new life with Kak Janu, if time can turn back, if time can turn back, I will never enter into the life of Mother, Mas Rama and Tasya. 

Regarding Mas Rama, I contacted the nurse to take care and monitor his health condition at home. Today I got an afternoon assignment in the hospital until night, time showed it was two o'clock in the afternoon, I immediately set out to carry out my professional duties as a doctor, I'm, just now I was in the room and wearing the white snelli I used to wear, a nurse came up to me,

"So, there are patients who should be checked immediately in the IGD room"

"Well" I followed the nurse's lead into the IGD room, I stood next to the patient's gurney, the patient I'm dealing with right now is someone I know very well, he's Tasya,   someone who insulted and humiliated me this morning.

"Please do a complete blood test including urine," I ordered one of the nurses, "if there are laboratory results I have requested, give them directly to me!"

"Okay doc." I saw Tasya asleep, I checked on another patient who needed my help. 

After about an hour, the tasya lab results were complete and the files were in my grasp, I went to Tasya in the IGD room, I saw that he had regained consciousness from his sleep,

"We'll see Tasya again, how is it better?"

"So you served in this hospital? If I had known, I wouldn't have gone to this hospital, but I couldn't do anything about it because this hospital is the closest to Rama's house."

"As much as you want to say what, here I am as the doctor who handles you."

"Well just tell me what happened to me, my body feels so limp and nauseous."

"Based on the results of the laboratory, you are currently pregnant, for fetal development please do USG to the obstetrician." said the results of the examination, made me remember with Mas Rama, who is the author of the study, is their relationship like husband and wife until it produces seeds in the womb of Tasya? Is this one of the reasons they are speeding up the wedding? I feel disappointed by the new fact I know, why is my heart this disappointed? Rama is nobody to me, I won't even mean anything to him.

"Good, Rama will be more dear to me, and the position of Atma will be replaced by the child I bear, at least he will not be interested in a widow like you." hearing the words of Tasya make my emotions peak, at least he will not be interested in a woman of widowed status like you, 

"Ckk .. Look at you Tasya, who should be humbled should not be Me but you, though I am a widow, but I can keep my honor, what about you? You are even proud of the sins you have committed even from those sins that produce seeds in your womb, you should look up to yourself, who is more guarding the honor? Am I a widow? Or you're a girl but not a virgin, who gave your honor to someone who hasn't been your legal husband, excuse me ...." I also went out from his presence avoiding the quarrels that my patients and colleagues would know about in this room.

💕💕💕💕

It has been a week since the incident at Mas Rama's house passed, but sadness still envelops Atma.

"Honey today Mama's holiday, we go for a walk with Auntie Gita, happened to Aunt Gita is also off college, Atma want to go?"

"Hey, let's dong Aunt's handsome niece, spirit ...." Gita pulls Atma's hand to get ready.

We headed to one of the shopping centers and children's games, Atma momentarily forgot her sadness, the smile painted on her innocent face, and the, I want to see him always smiling as he is now and forever because Atma is the source of strength and happiness in my life. As we were eating, I saw Atma's face look sad, he looked at someone beside us, I turned to follow Atma's gaze, there was a little boy and his parents were joking together, I understood the sadness that Atma felt, deep down, she wanted a small, whole family.

"Dear." I stroked Atma's cheek and kissed her forehead. "forgive Mama who can't give the full affection of her parents as Atma sees." Atma nodded her head and her tears came back.

"Atma, in a moment's time Papa's atma, Om Janu will be Papa's link to Atma" said Gita

"Yes Aunty, Om Janu is also good with Atma, but if Papa Rama is the real Papa for Atma, Atma would be happier, but Papa Rama would be married to Aunt Tasya, Papa Rama is no longer dear to Atma, Atma must stay away from Papa Rama as Aunt Tasya said, at this time Atma again studied far from Papa Rama."

"Therefore you are sad and not in the spirit of love?" I asked Atma

"Yes Mama, it feels very bad with Papa Rama"

"Learn to get used to it without Papa Rama, don't depend the happiness of Atma on anyone but Mama, because mama hangs the happiness on you dear, if Atma is sad, Mama also feels the sadness of Atma" 

"What kind of Atma's father's body is ma'? Is she not the same atma? Why would he leave us? Does Atma have any ma's fault'?" The series of questions from Atma made this tongue feel stiff to answer it, because it brought up old wounds that I had tried to forget.

"You won't understand, one day when you grow up you'll understand baby."

"Don't think of your biological Papa Atma, he doesn't deserve to be called Papa."

"Nurus ...." I warned Gita not to talk about Papa's birth Atma that would make Atma sad.

"Sister must explain to Atma, even though he was a child, Gita is sure Atma understood, and that will make him a strong child, believe me Sister, I am a major in psychology, I am a college psychology, I know very well that Atma is a smart boy."

Gita stayed in her position to tell all the mass events - me, Atma and Denis.

"Papa and Grandma Atma did not accept the presence of Atma in this world because when Atma was born, Atma was not perfect, threatened blind and had a heart defect, Atma's condition was very weak at that time. Eventually Mama Amanda left them and preferred to raise her own Atma and heal Atma until healthy and smart as now, Papa Bibliography Atma finally chose to separate because Mama prefers to take care of Atma."

Atma seemed very enthusiastic to hear Gita's story about Papa and her grandmother, I could only keep quiet because every story of Gita made my brain memory re-record the memory of my grief in the past, after hearing all the stories from the Gita, Atma hugged me so tightly that I found it hard to breathe, Atma kissed my whole face still wet with tears,

"Atma promised to make you happy and proud of Atma, and won't ask you again Papa Atma's birth, because she made you cry." after saying that Atma hugged me tightly and cried. Gita who saw us shed tears, too,

"Look, brother, our hero is strong, right? He's not a weak kid." I can only smile faintly, and pray that Atma is really strong in facing this reality, a life that is quite complicated.

"Thank you Auntie, Atma also love Auntie." Atma also kissed Gita's cheeks with affection.

We continued our shopping and playing in the area until night, forgetting our sadness, my phone rang, displaying the name Ummik on my phone screen, you immediately picked it up, he said,

"Assalamualaikum Ummik"

"Wa'alaikumsalam, Amanda where are you, son?"

"Again one of Ummik's shopping centers, with Gita and Atma, what's wrong?"

"It just so happens that son, Ummik asked for help to come home you stopped by the house of Ms. Ratri, to take samples of materials and sketches of clothes designs." hearing Ummik's request made me take a deep breath, I took a deep breath, the one I avoid the most right now is Mom's house, I don't want to see Mas Rama anytime soon. However, I cannot refuse Ummik's request.

"Okay Ummik." I replied uninspired

Now we are in front of Ratri's mother's house as requested Ummik on the phone,

"Follow down yuk, deck."

"Ish sister anything the rich little boy just ask for delivery."

"Atma did not want to go down." seeing the expression of Atma bent I also succumbed to entering into his own house without Atma and Gita, it seems Atma really tried to stay away from Mas Rama.

The door of the house was not closed, I entered without greeting, I have become accustomed to this house, although now it feels awkward considering the events of last Sunday, I faintly heard the voice of Mother and Mas Rama, who were still there,

"Stop your marriage to Tasya for your happiness Rama! Honest to Mom, you love Amanda, don't you? Not Tasya!"

"Yes Ma'am, I love Amanda so much but whenever I can't have her, Janu will marry her." My steps are fixed, I'm frozen, I'm frozen, I am confused what to do at this time after hearing the confession of Mas Rama's feelings, it turns out that what Mother said was right, Mas Rama loves me, my mind is raging at this time, what about Tasya's pregnancy? He claimed to love me but in fact he impregnated Tasya, may I say Mas Rama is a hypocrite? My feelings were like being played with by her, which obviously my disappointment was huge for her right now ....