Ballad Inmates
Ballad Inmates (Part 38)

...By Dalem Tehang...

I was shocked when someone grabbed my leg. Apparently Aris was praying at night. Right at my foot. His hand while prostrating accidentally touched my foot.

“Astaghfirullah. Sorry, Ris,” I said as I hurriedly pulled my leg. And fold.

Aris was not bothered at all with my spontaneous reaction. He was so solemn’ in the surrender of his body soul to the Creator. Confession of the Penisbian as a creature to the Khalik.

Seeing Aris so favourable to undergo the process of total surrender to the Almighty, I was moved to follow him. I rushed to the bathroom. Wudu. 

Tahajud dinihari it is very khusu’. Moreover, accompanied by raindrops that continue to pour and voice the clanking of natural music when it comes to the tile of the holding room. Enjoyment with Gusti Allah was only stopped when the dawn prayer was heard from the mosque near the mapolres complex.

After dawn, I laid down my body. Sleeps. There is fatigue wrapped in inner calm. The limitations of living in an iron cage are increasingly not a burden on the mind. 

Despite realizing how the act of image destruction and mental burden of wives and children will continue to echo. And that is, the heaviest burden I feel.

Just the sun showed its highlight after a night of heavy rain, when the cell door was opened. All residents were ordered out. Monthly routine assessment.

All residents of the Islamic detention complex sat neatly lined up on the front porch of their respective cells. To listen to the lecture of the ustad presented by the rutan person in charge.

At the door of the whole cell, stood one guard. To supervise and order prisoners during the religious event.   

The study event began with a speech from Mr. Rudy as the commander of the police detention house complex. The low profile man motivated the prisoners to continue to improve.

“This is where you all introspect yourself. We as humans are full of mistakes and mistakes. That's our nature. Going to this kind of prison is not an apocalypse let alone a future extinction. This is how God gives you all the opportunity to improve yourself, to be a good human being according to the rules of religion and the rules of our law later,” said Mr. Rudy.

Afterwards, a young man wearing a cocoa shirt and a hat, stood up. It is he who will give spiritual salvation at that time. 

He admitted, he had three times in and out of prison for his mischief. As a result of being trapped for a moment of pleasure from drugs or violent theft.

“But it was from prison that I found guidance. I studied religion a lot during my sentence. And after being free, I entered the boarding house. Religious research. Alhamdulillah, now I have the opportunity to share knowledge and experience in this place,” said the 25-year-old man who claimed to be named Ma’ruf.

Ustad Ma’ruf elaborates on how much God guides in His various ways. Therefore, never despair in seeking guidance. Continue to be enthusiastic in strengthening intentions, improving yourself, worship, and commit to leave things that are not good in the future.

“Be assured, Allah's guidance is greater than the heavens and the earth and all its contents. Never be discouraged just because you are living in prison. But it is proud because God still gives us the opportunity to improve ourselves, even though we are forced by this very uncomfortable situation,” he continued.

Almost an hour, Ustad Ma’ruf delivered his tausiyya. We all followed his talk solemnly. Not only because the material he conveyed was quite simple and pengena, but also because of his background that had been mired several times to have lived in prison as well.

The monthly recitation closed with a prayer together. Led by Rusdi. Ustad village became a prisoner because of drug cases. 

His heavy voice coupled with his eloquence in reciting prayers, made the souls of all who heard him goosebumps. It is realized how many wrong hues and sins are attached to life so far.

After that, we were all ordered to enter each other's cells. The door was locked by the guard. I feel how much freedom is precious.     

Adit tamping is coming. In his hand was a plastic bag. He put the pack by pack through the iron bars.

“Submission breakfast, om,” he said while looking at me. 

Ijal hurriedly welcomed. There are seven packs of vegetable lontong and crackers.

“Yang nganter go straight home, om. We are studying again, so we can not meet,” explained Adit.

“OK, thanks, Adit,” I said. 

I gave him a cigarette. The young man accepted it with a smile.

While we were having breakfast with my wife, Adit came again.   

I'm surprised, my wife doesn't usually come this early. Especially with my son. I left breakfast and put the plate on my bed.

“Alhamdulillah, dad sehatan?” greet my wife as soon as I approach the iron bars where she stands. She's with my daughter, the Moon.   

“Alhamdulillah healthy, thanks to the prayers of mother and children. Not usually morning gini made by dad,” I said. There's an emergency tone.

“Later in the afternoon you want to leave the outside service, so set the time for you to leave father first. This happens to be nduk at home, not school because his body has a fever since semalem. Kangen daddy. It's been a month dad's been here and since dad came in, nduk has never met,” my wife explained.

I hugged the Moon from behind bars. Body warm. Face lowered. There is deep sadness there.

I shed my tears. Understand how heavy the inner burden is that is squeezing my only daughter's feelings. 

“Sabar yo, nduk. Dad doain kept on. Do not carry heavy. Sincerely, all this is God's destiny, even though it is the result of father's mistakes as well,” said I. Whispering in his ear.

The moon just nodded. Slowly. A water flowed from his eyes, and fell into my hands that were hugging him.     

It looks very fragile. Even threatened to collapse. It was so much different when he let me go for the first time to go to jail, one month ago. 

At that time, he showed his strength. In fact, he encouraged me to go through all this legal process calmly. Because going to jail is not an apocalypse for our family. 

Slowly, the Moon raised her face. We looked. Her eyes are beautiful, so shady. Storing tranquility. But I realized, that calmness in the shade almost lost a shale of hope. 

I elus-elus cheeks. I slowly pull her nice nose. Time and time again. It is perfect that God created his figure. Only, right now his mind was suffering so much. Screaming loudly without a sound and no one was able to reveal it.    

“Daddy is also kangen bener you, nduk. Dad always sings and shadows you. Always doain you, mother, brother, and adek. The father's prayer ascended into the sky and descended on our house. God protect you all. Don't be too heavy your inner burden yes, nduk,” I said later. My voice was raucous, trapped by a novelty that was barely controlled.

Moon nodded. Staying slow. Stare at my eyes. Deeply. As if someone was looking for her there. He was tracing my soul in this prison. 

“Daddy is fine, right?” he said suddenly. With its distinctive sound; soft. 

I'm nodding. Give her faith. While removing the smile.

Suddenly his hand grabbed me. Passing through the iron bars of our position separator. Very close to his embrace. We embrace too. Feelingly. The expression of affection and fear of loss is so profound. 

Wife's moving. Embracing us too. Threesome hugs. Uniting all the bubbling feelings in the soul that can not be revealed through words. Unknowingly, we shed tears together. The sadness is so heartbreaking for the soul.

Slowly, we let go of each other. But the Moon still looked at me. 

“What do you think, story to father kayak usually,” ask me on the Moon.

He just shakes. There was a smile on his face. Cross-sectional. His soul began to calm down. His mind was slowly being controlled. 

“Mbak kangen same father,” he said later. 

Suddenly he hugged me back. This time, his crying exploded. Until as much as possible. 

My wife stroked his back. Assuages. He embraced the Moon's body lovingly. 

“Dad also miss nduk. We all know that you can't be away from us, especially. So rasain nduk, dad must be rasain too,” said my wife while continuing to stroke the Moon's back. 

“Dad also misses mbak?” asked the Moon with eyes staring intently into my eyes. I nodded with seriousness. 

He hugged my body back tightly. Pulling my head to get to his head. But only the tip of our head can touch, because it is blocked by iron bars (connecting)