Tone of Nara
CHAPTER 1 The Fat Elephant, Black, Pug and Gingsul

That morning in a market that was crowded with visitors, a young woman, standing in front of a fishmongering stall. He kindly greeted the salesman uncle who seemed to be familiar with him.  Woman

it appeared simple with black cloth pants, plain light green shirt and sandals . His hair was tied back. Very simple, usually nothing special.

But his friendly face and warm smile, making anyone who looks at him will smile. Her gentle face and her gentle and cheerful voice described the kindness of her heart.

“Good morning uncle,” he said in a cheerful tone. Its large height seemed to cover the front of the stall, making some mothers choose to step aside when they wait for the fish they bought ready. The woman smiled kindly at the mothers there.  They also kindly returned the smile of the woman. There are even some

greet him familiarly.

Yes, the big girl is famous for being friendly and always greeting everyone. But his large and fat body, often makes people choose to avoid because they do not want to be hit. Behind him there are some mothers who nag because they are disturbed, some say it as fat elephants and some even laugh at their body shape.

The woman was not unaware that the mothers avoided her or scorned her.  However

because a long time ago, the treatment had been obtained, he became concerned about all that. To him, as long as he remained good, people would also be good to him. That's what his mother taught him, and held firm by him.

“You bought what this time neng? Want catfish what bloated fish? There's a yellow-tailed fish that just came home from

sea, still kinyis neng. Still seger,” said the fishmonger.

“Waduh, still a virgin dong mang,” said the fat woman with a big smile. ”Then the handsome

isn't there? Not bad, glimpsed by handsome fish.”

“Well she's a handsome nyari. Try asking yourself neng, who knows would like to be as good as the fish,” said

the fishmonger laughed. His hands continue to work cleaning the fish that the buyer has chosen. .

“Beyond that. Let me see if he's a guy what a girl mang,” said the woman.  They both laughed at their own silliness. The other mothers also laughed at the unprofitable chatter of the two.  The woman took a fish from a bucket below.. The fish he raised high and he looked closely at his face. But it was not easy to hold a living fish. The fish in the grasp was extremely slippery, constantly floundering and jumping. This made the woman surprised and slipped until a loud bang made people look back at the sound.

“Aduuuhh, Auuuhhhh!”. The woman screamed as she slammed into the seller's large bucket

fishes.

“Aduh neng... auhh... alamakk... bucket.... ouhh my fish got an elephant eh sorry.... Neng you are okay what?” said Mamang fishmonger while scrunched his face looking at the large-bodied woman almost drenched sitting in her bucket.

The fat woman looked around. He saw people just looking at him and laughing as they passed. No one seemed to care about just stopping and helping him.  He rolled his eyes back, looking around.

“I'm not papa.. I'm fine..” he said repeatedly while his face was red. He tried to stand with difficulty. Even to be able to stand up, he had to roll his body to the side. A lot of people there just looked and avoided giving her space to roll over.  His ass and back must have hurt. But that was nothing compared to the shame he felt at this moment. He looked at the fishmonger, apologizing. While the Mamang just smiled and shook his head, began to clean up the chaos of the incident earlier. The woman looked around her feet. He saw many fish floundering on the floor, coming out of the bucket where he was splashed . Meanwhile, there were two large fish that seemed to be floating in the rest of the water that was slightly piled. Seems to be dead because of his body.  He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“Hahaha, crazy yes, pity the fish to such a sprawl,”

“Yes, kok fish overwritten by an elephant, yes dead flat,”

Many more sentences visitors who laugh and scorn, making anyone's ears will be red if the teasing is aimed at him. It looks like the woman is trying to set her naffas. His hands clenched, though his lips still tried to smile.  It seemed that the woman did not care if she was soaking wet and smelly

fishy. Or maybe even he was not aware of his condition at that time, because of the shame and pain in him.

** Pov Tone**

My name is Nada Rahmatika, or you can call me Nada.

Yeah you can guess right, if I'm the fat lady who fell in the fishmonger's bucket? That's me, the Fat Elephant who successfully entered the fish tank in the market. Although I always try to be friendly and a lot of people who always answer me kindly, but when it comes to appearance, I am the worst example of

definition of a woman.

I've been bullied for a long time and scorned like this, wherever I am. That's why I don't have many friends. Wrong, I have no friends. Only my husband, my best friend, never said anything about my body and my appearance. My best and dearest husband.

The state of my body and appearance like this, in addition to inviting scorn also makes me unable to move much. Even without me noticing, the movement of my body would make a silly accident that would be confused with embarrassing things. People say, my situation is no longer helped. If only Mahardika and her team who are famous for the “Makeover Total” televised event came, maybe she would immediately fly the white flag of surrender. Because it's very difficult to make a makeover on a super product fail like me.

My mom used to be angry when I told myself this. According to my mother, I am beautiful. According to my mother, I have inner beauty.  According to my mother, my beauty is my very smart brain and my very good heart. So good, since childhood if not bullied, I will be used by my friends. I often don't realize until it's too late. And finally I can only cry alone in the room or

mama's lap.

Mama always reminded me not to be too obedient to the words of friends who only use me, for my money and goods. But mama knows what? Mama was born as a beautiful and graceful Javanese woman with all her charisma. Yes even though people say, my eyes are like her. The rest, I'm more like papa.

I know, I know very well that I am the Fat Elephant with Black skin, Pug nose and Gingsul teeth, descendants of Mr. Hermawan. It was also what made what happened to me dikios fishmonger this morning as if it was just a casual spectacle. Who would care about this ugly elephant? There aren't. There never was. They only care about the incident as a laughable amusement spectacle in the

mornings. Not more.

I remember what happened that morning. I tried to hold a fish that turned out to be very slippery and

sprightly. Out of shock when the fish soared towards my face, I slipped.

“Aduuuhh, Auuuhhhh!”. I screamed out loud in shock, slammed into the big bucket

the fish vendors below.

“Aduh neng... auhh... alamakk... bucket.... ouhh my fish got an elephant eh sorry.... Neng you are okay what?”

I heard the fishmongers. An elephant? Screaming he who was twitching his face looked at me.  I heard it but tried to ignore it.

It really hurts my ass and my back. My ass got stuck in the tub and it was hard for me

to be able to stand. I looked around in embarrassment, until I forgot my pain. It hurts, but it's nothing shy to see everyone there and be laughed at. Yes they laughed out loud and booed me.

fish water.  His butt and lower back felt throbbing pain. But it's all nothing, compared to the shame I'm feeling right now, really.

I immediately stood up and sighed. I saw the salesman's mama looking at me between pity and annoyance.

Without a word, I conveyed my apology which was greeted with a smile and a headband. He took a deep breath, then began to clean up the mess I had made earlier.  I saw a lot of fish floundering on the floor, out of a big tub that was now broken because of the body of my elephant. Meanwhile, there were two large fish that seemed to float on the rest of the water in the tub.  Seems to be dead because of my body earlier, my mind.  I tried to calm myself down by taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. The way that papa taught me when I was angry or upset because of being bullied or lied to my friends –my friends.

“Hahaha, crazy yes, pity the fish to such a sprawl,”

“Yes, kok fish overwritten by an elephant, yes dead flat,”

I hear the voices around me. It's just part, the rest, I'm trying to cover both my ears.

“Why is my body like this. Why can't I be skinny like another girl. And why the hell is my body like a hard to obey my brain, always careless and troublesome me,” said slowly remembering how I tried to get out of the tub with difficulty, without anyone helping me. Helping me? Of course there's no need. There's no point in caring about an invisible girl, sorry ups, I

wrong word.  I'm big enough to look. Too big in fact.  I mean to care about a girl like me. Fishmen care more about fish than I do.

When I was sitting in High School, all the girls were racing to look beautiful to attract the boys. They showed off the beauty of her body and the beauty of her face. Including Sandra my best friend. Almost every day, at school, in the classroom, in the cantons, the grounds and even the back garden of the school, I saw many couples being burped even more. This is very different from me spending more time in the classroom or the cafeteria, alone. Well, sometimes Sandra accompanies me. But ever since she dated Leo, I've been more alone.

Not that I don't want to hang out, but I'm tired of having to accept cynical, amused, disgusted and scornful views of them.I hate being made into a bet by guys as funny or punishment. I'm tired of having to say that namau Nada, not an elephant.  I am tired of feeling envious and want to turn into a slim girl without fat.

I want to be skinny like any other girl. A body of this size feels very difficult for me to control both literally and internally.  I want to be thin not only to be able to move lightly and freely, in order to avoid embarrassing things due to my carelessness and getting into the tub, like this, but there are many other reasons. Later you guys will understand, why I am interested in the Total Makeover event which he said involves many plastic surgeons. An event that highlights the expertise of Mahardika as an Image Communication Expert and a facial reconstructionist. Even if I could, I would like to study Image Communication like Mahardika.

After finishing my business with the handyman

fish and pay for everything, I'm dirty, wet and smelly,

decided to end my shopping. Fortunately, almost all of me

buy earlier. Luckily also the fishmonger just asked me to pay for the fish

died because of me, not for the broken tub. Actually I don't mind

paying compensation for the tub, dear mother-in-law gave the right money to

shopping earlier. Even if there's more, I actually want to use it to

take a taxi to save my current situation. But what power, my money just

enough to take the city bus. Pay home? Don't expect it, because my mother-in-law will be angry

because I think I'm spoiled. It's not what I'm taking the bus for. I am also ordinary.

Mama and Papa though rich, did not spoil me. I'm used to the job

home, study and hard work as well as where to ride the angkot and bus. And I

loved it. It all makes me grow into the me that all-rounders say,

strong, strong and always smiling.

Ah never mind, I better get home soon, because my mother-in-law and sister-in-law will definitely be angry if I misfortune to prepare lunch. Moreover, because I have to go to the market this morning, I have not had time to finish the yard of another house. Like cleaning the house and washing.

Arriving at the bus stop - Pejaten-, I saw that my bus had passed. I ran, so as not to miss it. Well, I want to get home fast. But what can I do with a body this big? Run

for me it was a hard and exhausting job. With a breath of breath, I bent my body to catch my breath. I looked around, just a beautiful slim girl in a short skirt showing off her smooth, smooth thighs and of course no fat. I look to the right, Eh wait a minute. It's the bus with the number I want. Buses passing through my complex.

“Assyc. Rejeki anak sholeh indeed.” I said in my heart. While I was busy with my groceries, the girl with the short skirt and tank top shirt overtook me on the bus. For me such a thing does not matter. It's the same. The bus is not full, although there are no empty seats.

When I got on, I saw the girl paying the driver a fee. The driver received the girl's money kindly and teased her a little. When it was my turn to pay the driver to look ahead while frowning, as if there was disgust at my appearance. But his hands received my money without looking.  Arg, care very much. I didn't ride for free. After that I tried to move inside. I saw the passengers' gazes, though,

which happened to be mostly guys, staring at the girl in front of me. They looked at him with hungry and fascinated eyes. Yes I know, she is beautiful and sexy. Very pleasing to the eye. As I was troubled with my stuff moving inward, all eyes looked at me.  They gave a different look as they looked at the girl and looked at me.

Different?

Of course it's different. As their eyes looked at the girl, they smiled and seemed to want to eat her. While the moment those eyes looked at me, that gaze turned to a lascivious or at the very least, giving a half-disgustful flat look. As if I were a bully of their sight. Some of the passengers even purposely closed their noses when they looked at me. Maybe it smells like fish in the market. How else.

When I try

holding on to the top, the passenger in front of me looked at me disgustedly and showed a face like he was about to vomit. I glanced at my clothes and armpits that looked wet and yellowing, disgusting indeed. That's why I immediately release my hand grip to the page above, and throw my face forward.  I saw the driver looking at me from the rearview mirror.

Not yet had time to think far, arrived the driver stepped on the brake in making me who did not hold on, slammed forward. My fat body was thrown all the way to the front door. My groceries and stuff are scattered. At first glance I saw the girl who was standing in front of me was in the arms of several men who caught her so as not to fall. At first glance there is a sense, why did no one catch me earlier.   But never mind, what do I care. They don't care.  Even the driver just looked at me for a while and prepared to go.

“Better I stand now,” my inner. With great difficulty I tried to stand up. But when I was almost able to stand on my legs, but had not had time to hold, the bus turned sharply. Yes, you're right, I rolled back even to the point of being trapped in the narrow entrance steps of the bus. Fortunately, the bus door was closed. If not, I'm sure I'll be thrown out.  Does anyone care? Sure didn't. I stared intently at the driver who glanced at me with a small laugh.

“You are intentionally sure!” I said growling.

“Maybe. Never mind.   Let's get up quickly. Don't sleep there like an elephant sitting. Gather your things

before scattered where to pollute my bus,” He said slowly while grinning.

I'm trying to get up. It's not easy, for a woman of my size, to get up off the floor of a walking bus. No one helped me. Of course I don't expect anyone to help me either. I know they won't help. Its alright. For me, it's better that they laugh at me, ridicule me or heed me, like this than that they pity me.  That look of pity is much more painful.

Ah, yes, you are right, this is another reason why I want to slim down. So that I don't experience something like this. I'm tired of being bullied and getting unfair treatment wherever I am. But of course I also don't want to be the girl who fell in the arms of that man mode anyway. For me it's too cheap. If I had a body like her, I wouldn't let anyone touch me like that. Only my beloved husband can do that.

***