Enough One Wife
The Tears of Jihan

"Sik, what's wrong with you? These few days you notice that you are sad. His eyes. Every prayer must be crying. Why anyway? Same story brother, brother. Don't keep everything yourself. We have a new house and a new car. Aren't you happy with our achievement?" I asked, at dinner with Jihan.

"It's okay, bang." Said Jihan, while quickly eating with the reason of fear of crying.

"Well, if you don't want a story. But you know you're keeping something. You are a wife, brother. You can't hide anything." I deliberately urged because I was curious about his heart.

"I miss my parents, bang. Especially my mom" she said.

I swallowed spit. Duh, if this problem should not be asked to Jihan because the end he will ask to go home, but now my money is very thin, plus the installment of the house and car every month that must be paid.

"Bang," he broke my daydream.

The sound of crying one of the twins saved me from having to answer Jihan. I breathed a sigh of relief as he ran to the room.

***

I don't know what time it was, someone's voice kept me awake.

Jihan, who was sleeping next to me was delirious. It seems he was dreaming. His voice sounded slow but clear. He spoke while crying.

"Ma ... Jihan longs. Sorry Jihan hasn't been able to come home. Even when Lebaran also Jihan could not meet Mama. Also when Mama was sick, went to the hospital, Jihan could not take care of Mama. Sorry Jihan." said Jihan with tears flowing.

Seeing it like that made my heart break. It was so sad to see my wife hold back the longing.

From the story I got when I was going to propose to Jihan, she is indeed a favorite daughter because she is the only daughter. He is also very difficult to get away from his parents. So when college first, once three months his parents come swerving. Or he's coming home. It is so unreasonable to endure longing. Now, in the third year of our marriage, ever since I brought her back to Jogja, in the city where I worked, I never returned Jihan again.

This year he finally wanted to say his wish also after feeling the circumstances allow.

So good Jihan, she really thought about her husband's feelings, but I was selfish, procrastinating on Jihan's wishes, even promising but disavowing.

"I'm sorry, baby" I said. Wiping away Jihan's tears. If I was in Jihan's position, I wouldn't be able to if I didn't meet my mother. A year alone it feels really torturous, let alone Jihan who has entered the third year. "Dear, baby, baby." I shook her slowly because I couldn't bear to see her crying and getting sadder. He sobbed. What a pity you my wife, married to a stupid man like me. I'm sorry for myself.

"Bang," Jihan who had woken up immediately wiped away the rest of the tears. He's still confused.

"You're dreaming huh?" I said. He's silent. "Definitely miss you a lot? Forgive Brother Dik," I said as I stared at his two puffy neutrals.

Suddenly Jihan's cry broke. She cried. I hugged her. He was crying in my arms. I let him spill all his sadness.

"Any apologies, brother," I said.

"No bang, you're not wrong" he said in a trembling voice.

"False, promised but disavowed. Instead of granting your wish, you take the car" he said again.

"Well, can't the car be returned?"

"Dek, if only the money is returned, you will return the car, but the DP and the first installment will not return. Forgive Brother deck."

Jihan crying.

"I don't feel good Bang" said Jihan. "I feel really bad. I think something bad will happen."

"Astagfirullah, Istighfar deck."

"Bang, go home yuk" he said again. "Yesterday when I called Mama, it felt different."

"Sir, I promise you as soon as possible will take you home. Brother will look for extras. You are patient." I asked.

Jihan quiet. He then lay down, turning his back on me. Soon there was the sound of crying. The longer it sounds clear.

I can only curse myself. Regretting my weakness. This enormous ego.

***

The next morning, upon returning from the mosque, I found Jihan still on the prayer mat. He seemed to be praying fervently, surely while crying. Seeing that makes me more guilty.

"Patience, be patient for a moment." I asked in my heart. Unwilling to see it that way, I finally contacted Ica, informing her that I agreed to resume our cooperation which I had previously canceled for fear of what Bram suspected. We'll meet later at lunchtime near my office.

***

The atmosphere of the house feels different. Jihan doesn't talk much. Indeed, usually he is also not chatty, but when spoken to usually he likes to tell long stories. Especially when we talk about our son. But this time even though I have been fishing, the answer is always short. I'm pretty sure he's just sad.

***

At lunchtime, I met Ica too. My former classmate looked very happy. He made a high offer for our cooperation.

"Well, at the latest this weekend I'll call." I said.

"Sip mas, I'm waiting for ya" said Ica.

"All that?" I asked, when it all felt like it was over discussed.

"It is" he said again. "Oh yeah mas, sometime let's have dinner out or watch? I'll tell you later how to get a side." he said.

"Tell me now. I still have fifteen minutes left." I said, glancing at the watch.

"Not enough, my mom. It took a couple of hours. How about this weekend, all your stuff. Hows it? Counting refreshing."

"I'm sorry I can't. Family weekend special. I also have to help my wife take care of the child "

"Wow, Mas Hasan is so cool. Truly a dream husband."

"The living? still far away." I said. Lha wong yesterday just made a crying wife. I said Istighfar several times.

"But that's cool. Ma'am Jihan is lucky to have a husband like Mas Hasan. If only Mas Hasan had spoken clearly I would not refuse." Ica talks began to lead in the direction that Bram said. I don't want to be tempted, so hurry up saying goodbye without caring if he still wants to talk.

Actually yesterday I decided not to take cooperation with Ica because I was worried about things like this, but because Jihan wanted to go home, she said, I have no other choice because this is the only option.