DEALLOVES
30 | Refused to End

The doctor has given the best treatment for Dera. After Nanda finished talking with the doctor, he met Dera who was still lying in a hospital bed.

"Dera, are you awake, honey?" nanda said as she rubbed the top of Dera's head.

"Nanda," said Dera who tried to get up from the bed.

"Hey, don't get up yet, don't move much, Ra. You lay down. Um, what are you rasain now? Still hurt?"

"Nan was sick."

"Thank God. Dera, the doctor says your stomach acid goes up. Maybe because you're too stressed, a lot of thoughts. You haven't eaten either, have you?"

Dera nodded slowly.

"I bought your favorite food. Now you eat first. Here, let me bribe." continued Nanda while opening the package of food that had been bought.

Nanda fed a spoonful of food to Dera's mouth. Dera who was hesitant to accept Nanda's bribe finally complied as well.

"Nan" said Dera on the sidelines of his meal.

"Why Honey?"

"I can eat by myself."

"Ah, it's gapapa. Let me just bribe."

"You should go back to the office, right?"

"No. My meeting is over."

"Keep your other work?"

"Ro, I'm not too busy today. About work there is a handle. So I can keep you until you recover. Eat some more yuk!"

"Hmm, Nanda-"

"What else, dear?"

"Sorry.."

"Make what?"

"Because once again I took care of you. I-i-"

"Why say that anyway? No one is taking nicotine. After all if something happens to you, it's also my responsibility."

"Why?"

"Because you're my secretary and it's still working hours. But outside of work hours, I also have responsibilities, because I'm your lover."

"Dutch, you-"

"Sst! Yes, talk later, now you finish your food."

Dera fell silent and again accepted Nanda's bribe. In his heart, Dera again felt a dilemma. Once again Nanda showed such great care and affection for him, but until this moment why Dera was still so difficult to give her heart to Nanda. It is only Al who continues to control his heart and mind.

Finished with his meal, Nanda forced Dera back to rest. After Dera closed his eyes, Nanda let out a kiss on Dera's forehead and he came out of Dera's ward.

.

Nanda returned to the ward. As he rubbed Dera's cheek, Dera opened her eyes.

"Dear, I thought you were sleeping."

Dera.

"Where are you from?"

"I've taken care of the administration."

"Nan, when can I go home? I've already got a gapapa."

"Ehm, later ya. You rest a little here. I'll ask the doctor when you can go home."

Nanda took off his suit, attached it to the sofa. After rolling up his shirt arm, Nanda grabbed a knife and some fruit on the nightstand.

"Darling, I'm peeling fruit for you."

After several pieces of fruit were presented on the plate, Nanda began to prick a fork on small pieces of fruit and feed it to Dera. This time Dera accepted without much protest. Dera chewed on the fruit while looking at Nanda's face. While the one being looked at just kept showing her sweet smile.

A plate of fruit is a toilet.

"Want me to peel again, honey?"

"Sir Nan. I'm full."

"Okay, now you're taking another break!"

Nanda who was heading to the sofa suddenly stopped his steps because he felt someone suddenly hold his hand.

A soft voice that spoke his name instantly rang out, "Nanda.."

Nanda turned his head and went back to Dera.

"Yes Dear. What was? You need anything?"

"Okay, what do you want to say, honey?" Nanda gently rubbed each strand of Dera's hair.

"I-i"

"Yeah??"

"Nanda, you-can't you, from now on you stay away from me? I'll try to stay away from you too."

"meaning? Butwhy? Why did you suddenly say this?"

"It would be better if we stayed away from each other from now on, Nan."

"Dera-"

"I don't want to be in this macem situation. Everything is too complicated. Nan, aren't you tired of our situation?"

"How do you think? Why Honey? We've been fine all this time, haven't we?"

"Sampe when? Only when do you want to wait for certainty that is never clear from me? Nan, want me to try as hard as I can't. I can't love you like you love me."

"Ra, I'm sure one day I can. I'm ready to wait for whatever. The most important thing is that we keep it together."

"Without a clear relationship status?"

"You're my secretary, honey!"

"But what do you expect more of that, right?"

"Am I wrong about something?"

"Not wrong. But you better hope it's not me."

"Darling??"

"Please Nan, don't make me feel more guilty at all times with all your attention, no matter what you do for me. Enough Nanda!"

"Hey, why is this?"

"I feel like I'm Nan's most evil person. You always pay attention to me, always there for me, do anything for me, but I can never appreciate your feelings."

"I'm doing it all because I love you. I love you, Ra. I know you need time. Dera Gapapa. Please don't ask me to stay away, it's hard."

"Sir Nanda, you're a good man, you're handsome, established, you're perfect. You can get any perfect girl. It's not hard for you, Nan."

"Well I'm that perfect, why can't a Dera love me? Hm?"

"You're too good for me, Nan. You're too perfect."

"Well.. Cliche's reason."

"Manda.. Can't we end our contract now? Bebasin I Nan. We don't have to continue this relationship anymore. Anyway now it's up to you, I don't care if you do anything to Al, Darmajaya group or anyone else. It's none of my business anymore. I think it's all quite by here, Nan. You don't have to care about me anymore."

"It can't be that easy, Ra. Want me to try anything, my soul will refuse to forget and do not care about you. My feeling is not a momentary feeling that can be lost. My love for you is more than anything."

"But Nan-"

"Don't Dera! We won't be far. You're my secretary."

"That's why I'll be resigning from your office soon. You can find a new secretary, Nan."

"No! Can't! I just want you to be my secretary. I don't need anyone else. Your position can't be replaced by anyone."

"Do I not have the right to choose my own path, Nan?"

"We'll always be on the same path, honey. Because at any time, Nanda Armandito will never be that easy to take Miss Dera."

Dera extended her hand towards Nanda. He touched Nanda's face with a pleading gaze. Nanda who felt the soft touch of Dera's hand on her cheek could only close her eyes because Dera very rarely touched Nanda like that.

"Nan, I beg you.."

Nanda grabbed Dera's hand that was still stuck to her face. He held that hand tightly.

"Can't, Ra. I can't, honey. Please don't force me! I love you."

"Sirland.."

"Don't argue with your boss, Dera!"

Dera removed her hand from Nanda's grasp while turning her gaze, turning to the other side.

Nanda also turned to grab Dera's face, making them look at each other again. Dera who was about to get up from his lying position was prevented by Nanda.

"Where are you going? You still need a break, honey."

Now Dera just leaned on the head of the bed with his pillow.

Once again their views made Nanda unable to hold back. Finally, there was a meeting between their lips. Nanda seemed to want to really channel the fear of losing her. While Dera has no power against Nanda.

They are both out of breath. Nanda let go of her kiss. He switched to fusing his forehead with Dera's forehead while adjusting his breathing. Both of his hands cupped Dera's face.

"I'm sorry, I can't control myself anymore. Please, no more kayak talk! I love you, I love you so much. I'm sorry, sweetie, but any time I'll stop if you ask us to end."