Different Fates
Lima

I try to focus on the laptop screen in front of me. Being a writer was my wish since Junior High. The hobby of reading and writing diary books, made me accustomed to composing every sentence that appears in the head into a piece of writing.

I put Mama's character in the antagonist I was writing. Who wants to be angry, this is the result if making problems with the author. Your character will be immortalized in the writing.

“Delete, deh,” said I deleted the writing about Mama. 

You can be damned beautiful if you get caught. Besides, I also still respect Mama and do not want to be considered disobedient. 

“Can help Mama?” 

“Astaghfirullah!”

Just make it a shock! Mom suddenly appeared behind the door.

“What?” manya lazy.

“Come out,” says Mama.

My bedroom door was closed again. Without turning off the laptop, I caught up with Mama who walked first.

“Mama out monthly shopping.” Mama pointed at some grocery bags strewn across the kitchen.

“The usual coincidence help-help is coming home, can you help Mama fix this?” tanyakanya.

This is it, easy. I'm used to cleaning the kitchen and even shopping with Papa every weekend. We who do not use the services of art, are used to doing all the homework ourselves.

I'm nodding. 

To be honest, I was still upset with Mama who forced me to be beautiful like Sabrina. Is it after I'm beautiful that Mama will make me an artist like Sabrina?

I take care of my mom's groceries, which are mostly vegetables and fruit. Maybe Mama and Sabrina are herbivores, plant-eaters. I could die if I followed their eating style.

“Seriously there are only vegetables and fruits?” I just can't believe it. “Which protein?”

“Sabrina on diet.”

Is Sabrina the only one in this house?

“Protein is also important, Ma. Sabrina goat.”

Too bad my twin, deserves a squeaky body. Next time I'll buy mi gacoan to be happy. But he paid.

“During here, you will also eat as Sabrina ate. Mama will buy meat later,” said Mama gave me goosebumps disco.

Would I rather just run away?

“Don't try to escape from here, Sabia. Mama knows what you think.”

“I'm human, not goat.”

“But your body is already similar to their species.”

Athaghfirullah! She's not my mama, is she? His son is cruel.

“Begin to improve your appearance, Sabia. You've been 25 years, if you like this continue when will be in male lyrics?”

I stopped my hand that was putting foodprep in the fridge.

“What is the standard of female beauty only seen from the physical?” 

“Don't everyone see the outside first?” ask Mama. “West buy a sure book that saw the cover first.”

“And they ignored its contents,” kilahku.

“Sabia—“

“Did Mama choose Sabrina who came with Mama because Sabrina was beautiful while I wasn't?”

Tuh, right, I'm so su’zon.

Mama looks surprised. I think I know the answer. In fact, Mama did not pay attention to her crying as much as she and Sabrina left Papa's house.

I finished my job immediately from my mother. I was too tired to talk to my mom. 

“Sabia—“

I no longer cared about Mama who was still trying to talk to me. It's too hard to follow Mama's will that forces me to be like Sabrina. 

I wanted to be better in terms of appearance, but not with insults like Mama lay down every time we met.

“What because this is also Mama divorced from Papa?” my many. 

“What do you mean, Sabia?”

“Papa is not handsome, is that also one of the reasons Mama asked for divorce?”

“Sabia—“

“Why don't you blame yourself for giving birth to a child like me?”

Mom bought her eyes.  “What are you talking about, Sabia?”

I smiled cynically, then left Mama who still called my name. Closing the door with a little slamming. 

“Nangis no ya?” mumbling myself. “Ingin cry but prestige. That's just crying. Relax yes, Sabia, it's normal,” I continued talking to myself like a stressed person.

I wept.

Though already used to receive treatment like this from Mama, but why still cry?

I was so crybaby.

Surprisingly, Mama always scolded me but did not provide a solution.

“Minim-minim buy skincare, cake,” annoy me. “This just ngomel but do not love solution.”

The phone on my nightstand is ringing.

Mr. Rully.

What time did he call? Does he know I'm busy? 

Busy crying!

“Halo?” my words received his call without greeting.

“Sabia, please keep your ear, this is a video call,” he said from across there.

Eh time?

I stared at the phone screen. Mr. Rully's face was plastered there.

“Bapak kangen equals me?” 

“Gosh. In addition to your large body, your confidence is also no less big.”

“Bapak is also great.”

What the hell is that?

“What?”

“Mr what's my phone?” ask me to divert the conversation.

“Meet me at the office. There's something I need to talk about.”

I glanced at the wall clock. 

“Pak it's 7pm, loh.”

“I didn't say it was dawn.”

“Then?”

“Quick! Not wearing long, Sabia.”

Clik. 

The heat! Habits like to turn off the phone. Minimum greetings cake. 

I wear a burgundy instant pasmina and wear a black abaya. After confirming the appearance, I rushed out of the house.

“Where to?”

I stopped my steps.

“Work.”

“Jam as soon as?” ask Mama. “What do you actually work for?”

“Mama asked? Mama wonders? I told ya—“ I accidentally imitated a cepmek hairstyle. Gemes anyway, so want to cemplungin him to the Ciliwung river.

“Sabia—“

“I work morning, noon, afternoon, night, midnight, dawn,”. 

That is how writers work. Mama frowned more and more.

“Work I hammered, Ma.”

But it is true, the work of the author is indeed shy. I like to imagine the beautiful even though life is not as beautiful as my own dinovel. Just imagine first, who knows, come true. Amen the firmer!

“Mama ask nicely, Sabia.” Looks like Mama's upset.

“Sabia also talks really, Ma.”

Mama exhaled, gave up arguing again with me, Mama went inside her room.

___________________

I arrived at the office 15 minutes later. The atmosphere of the shophouse is quite quiet because it is not working hours. Yes, Mr. Rully rented a second-level shophouse which was quite large to be used as a publishing office. It's so good to be boss. Would like to have his employees come this night.

“Bos,” call me to Mr. Rully who is playing a phone.

“Lama!”

Dihs.

“I'm hungry.”

“Eat, Sir.”

“Ayo.”

“Where?”

“Eat.”

Just say ask to eat. Why should there be important work?

Hid. Looks like he has a crush on me. 

We arrived at the usual restaurant Papa and I sambangi. I recommend this place because it is already a regular customer.

Eh wait! Seems familiar. 

I approached two people who were eating together. 

“Papa?”

“Sabia?”

A little surprised because Papa invited Sabrina to eat at this place. If you get caught, Mama, end the story. Actually I'm more worried Mama will scold Papa, anyway. Sabrina is his business.

“Whose are you with?”

I forgot the person who came with me. I introduced Papa to that shitty boss. They shake hands with each other.

“Not this Sabrina?” asked Mr. Rully when he saw Sabrina who was eating with Papa.

Apparently they know each other.

“True. She's Sabia's twin," Papa replied proudly.

I can see the shock on Mr. Rully's face. Naturally, people will also not expect if we are twins because it is like heaven and earth.

She is the sky that many people flatter for her beauty, and I am the Earth that is the subject of people's inclinations.

“Before Papa thought this man was your future husband, Sabia.”

“Hah?!”

Papa's words succeeded in surprising me. Sabrina even coughed. Looks like choking on a plate. 

Uh, that means sambal.

Mr. Rully looked at me while shuddering in horror. 

Was I genderuwo, until he showed off a horror face at me?

“It seems like a good idea,” whispered Mr. Rully near my ear.

Meanin?

“If I have a wife like you, I don't think I need to buy a mattress. You can replace the role of that mattress.”

Athaghfirullah!