Basque : Liberation
Chapter 45; Icarus.

[WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND CRISIS OF FAITH. ASK THE READER TO BE MORE WISE, IN STUDYING THE CONTENT OF THE READING, THANK YOU.]

***

When someone is depressed, contemplating with yourself is the most vulnerable time. Because dealing with strange tendencies is not easy. Realizing the emptiness of the endless, also all achievements are meaningless.

Alex stood on the edge of the school roof, letting the wind blow over his face. A blank look that looked nowhere, as if he did not care anymore, though a loud bang sounded in his ear hole.

"I thought I'd disappear someday."

Alex sees a world with a different horizon, every corner of the world is like burning black flames that continue to hurt him. After wandering without direction, the universe shrank giving him no room to breathe. All the doors of happiness had been forcibly snatched from the grasp of his hand. His heart felt empty, as deep as anything trying to dig just found a bittersweet memory fragment that kept wanting to be forced to forget. The sacred heart slowly turned gray.

He doubted life, and kept wondering while waiting to die. He is also confused with the experienced. When grief cannot be felt, Alex begins to turn to deep hatred.

"You're great, Lex. Can survive to this extent." It was as if the whispering voice that resembled her brother was replying to her heart. "You don't have to run, you can walk, while the road ahead.Slow even gapapa, and can rest if you are tired again."

Instantly his tears were dripping down on that unguided sight. The droplets evaporated carried by the rushing wind between the void of the night clapping the black sky. Unexpectedly, thousands of prayers and lies have been said to be able to live up to this long.

"So proud of you." The voice appears again, and Alex is unable to discern his reality and delusions. "If you want you to live, but you can't."

Alex felt that everything he did would be forgotten, including himself. He himself will forget what He has done in this world. He found no reason to survive in this worried world, all for nothing.

His mind drifted about in endless delusions. To bring him to a vision of the creation of the world. When all is created, no other entity creates it. Then the world goes as it should. Making magical substances evolve into something bigger to dominate each other's only resource-constrained world.

Alex returned in his reflection, He had wandered through the grey sea, and felt that the world was beautiful but not fair. He doubted the entity of God the Creator who had long turned away from the world. Or does he not exist? 'If there were, surely God would not let him fall into this pit full of snakes, ' he thought. Why did all the trials go beyond their limits, without even giving a single help?

The world was created by a cosmic accident. Even the constellations never intend to answer about divination or anything. Needless to say, about the protection or fate that has been written, Alex realizes again that everything is nil, trapped in a ephemeral cycle of meaninglessness.

As Alex knows, the universe has taken away his only helper as well as his reason for survival, Nadira Amira.

What people call destiny, has separated it from love for eternity, also separates it from happiness, and gives it deep sadness.

Alex is a quiet person who never opens up and tells others about problems or anything, whether it is resolved or he moves away from it. The days are long, all meaningless when the achievements are meaningless and everyone seems to just expect him to be okay.

His heart was already dusty, waiting for the achievement of a hope.

He walked softly, looking at Nadir as something beautiful in his eyes. But all he saw was the falsity of the play that the main cast did not know.

Dap dap

Now it was as if something had appeared from the other side, and carried him away. Towards the bottomless abyss of darkness. Alex still loves Nadir, but half of his heart says to hate him. 'Does the story end like this? Where should these footsteps be taken?'

"Alex?" Nadir's voice flashed with the sound of crying. "You want to kill yourself? If you fail, you can be handicapped forever. And if it works, I'll be sad to lose you."

This time Alex realized it was just his delusion, Nadir would not be able to say such a thing. Because as far as he can remember, Nadir hated himself more than anything. So, he tried to immerse Nadir's face into the deepest recesses of his heart.

He realized he had to start saying goodbye to all his dreams. Self-sacrifice, for whatever will happen after this. If there is an afterlife after death, then He is ready to weep amid the monsters of the torture labyrinth of hell.

"Let me forever."

And, If reincarnation exists, he hopes to start living from where it should be, and then strive to live harder than ever.

"Give me my heart, and all that I have."

Alex remembered that he didn't have much time, then closed his eyes. Stepping to the edge with certainty, then hoping to get caught in the gap of reality until He stops thinking completely.

Dap

However, a speck of doubt stops Alex. He wanted to know how much pain he would feel. So he took out his dagger.

CRETT!!

He refrained from screaming, the incision in his arm was painful. However, the pain in the recesses of his heart was still far beyond that.

Test test test

"Gfttt.." Alex held an unexpected laugh. "Hahahahaha.." and then chuckled to the ground.

Excessive thoughts had confiscated some of his sanity. He is unable to distinguish, how to express sadness or happiness.

JRREE!

Alex pricks a dagger into his stomach, just as he did to Vijaya. Instead of squealing in pain, he was even scattered uncontrollably. Envy and spite, fill the heart sac if you remember it.

He stepped in limp, while stabbing the knife many times in the same section. Blood dripped profusely accompanying his steps.

JRIT! JRBB!

It occurred to Alex for a moment, if God did not appear to save him at this time. He never observed it, or even did not exist. He was determined to test the existence of God. After all, if God is dwelling in the most beautiful place, why did He descend into this mortal world?

The city is crowded with high-rise buildings that want to reach God. Although it has been that high, but not able to realize a near-perfect utopia that is worth waiting for. A dry tongue full of these scum no longer begs. In fact, the lunglai hand full of irritation is also unable to scavenge the garbage again on the edge. Pretending to act strong, then vanishing into a distorted illusion. No one has achieved their goal.

'For what do I maintain a body that slowly fades and can be destroyed at any time?' Her thought.

Alex imagined all the images in his mind from now until forever. Not like a clown who wants to be loved by everyone. Instead Alex wants to be left alone, if indeed no one can accept it. Although he was aware, not a single promise that could be fulfilled again after this. There is nothing worse than wetting the night with an unrequited cry.

"Sir Laras, I'm sorry for not being able to live the way you want."

So, Alex jumped with a radiant face without any burden or obstacles. It feels like it has wings when it hugs the air, then it tries to hold it. However, the wing slowly melted due to its high desire until it reached the sun.

BRUUAKKKKU!

The angel of death was astonished to see a man who was given free will and many choices. But giving up life to walk in the tunnel of regret is very long. Although suddenly, but he still picked her up with joy.

They say they can live without feeling, perhaps because they have never felt the name of suffering, life restrained, and without freedom. Although everyone has a different destiny, they all have the same right to be happy.

Alex laughed as if he saw a corpse that could not be anyone anymore. Even though he was alone, and people gossiped through shallow, pitiful words, Alex would no longer feel ashamed.

***

"One must die with pride, when it is no longer possible to live with pride." Friedrich Nietzsche's.