Visible Loser
IF ONLY TIME COULD I TURN BACK

Sunday morning, I took my bike. I boncengi Dian headed to a church where Dian used to worship. The church was located quite far from my boarding house, it was located in the city center as well and close to the famous Cruise School in the city.

Yes, from where Dian lives, it must be very close.

Along the way, Dian hugged me tightly. From the pawn I pointed at his face, he looked very happy. I often see him smile at his own smile.

But unlike my feelings, I felt guilty towards Dian.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow, I thought. For the moment I just want to show him what he wants.

What I regret, why I found out too late. Because of my fault too, I got to know Dian too soon. If I had known, maybe I would have preferred to go in any way or not take his attention special.

My other little heart also judged, that every meeting I had with Dian was indeed the innocence of love. A sincere love born from two people who are drunk with romance. A natural affection for a human being to another human being. I'm sure I can, there's a way out. There's gotta.

But the other side of my soul tends to feel like I chose Dian wrong to be my partner. I judged, Dian approached me as just a mere escape. But everything has happened, so I'm just playing my role for now. The rest will be missed by time and this is like a start for me.

By showing the direction to the left or right in every fork or intersection I met, we finally both arrived at a fairly large Church. The church is called Atmodirono Catholic Church.

"It's over" said Dian."You want to come in, no, Ndre."

"Hmmm... How good is Yan."

"Follow in yu." Dian took my hand and led me inside.

The congregation I saw began to appear crowded chairs that have been deliberately prepared. Dian invited me to choose a chair and we were made to sit next to each other.

"Dian." greet me.

"Hmmm.." he said.

"I'm sitting behind me, not here" I explained. "Or wait in the parking lot."

"Hahahaha, your face is panicking that way." Dian laughed. "Yes already, if you want to walk around this church first please but if you want to wait and do not go where. You're here, you're here, you're back to me." she explained.

"Don't, I'm not delicious. It will disturb you to worship." I replied. "I roamed around around here. We've found a good coffee spot."

"Yes, if my recommendation. Mending you to the RS near my house. In front of him was a good seller of Ijo bean porridge." said Dian. "You'll just wait there, if I'm done, I'll call."

"Yowis, I go first huh." I asked.

"Know the way out." ridiculed Dian again.

"Know, baby." I reply.

I finally came out of the main room of the church and headed to the motor park on the side of the church.

"Ra Sido pray, Mase ?" greet the parking attendant.

"Mboten sir, ono sing misses." I replied.

How ?

That's fine, my Javanese language.

After successfully.exit from the church parking area, I also glided towards the warung burjo referred to by Dian. It turned out not too far too, after passing two turns that turn left and turn right finally until I was on location.

The Ijo glass pulp stall looks very comfortable, the yard is quite spacious as well. The advantage of the side of the stall is properly prepared for customers. Dozens of chairs and tables are neatly arranged, there are benches and long tables as well, and can also if you want to lesehan.

He said the warung burjo is quite famous, the atmosphere there is said to be crowded when the night or more crowded again, when Sunday night arrives.

I also rushed to park my bike in the place that has been provided. Then I ordered a special menu there and immediately paid for it. After that, I waited for my order to arrive.

I then chose a table with a small chair on the north side of the stall, then I opened the pack of cigarettes that I had long kept in my pants pocket. While waiting for Dian, I finally enjoyed the dish by plus sucking cigarettes after cigarettes.

An hour later, my phone did not sound. I wanted to move from there, but I was confused which way to go. Finally, I forced myself to stay in this chair while looking at the visitors who came in this shop.

I noticed, visitors at this stall average teenagers. Probably still sitting in high school even students. Their style like children RnB all flat, indeed now the glory of passion like this.

If I mah, just a t-shirt with torn pants in the neck. Style mapala children abis tree.

An hour and a half passed, and the phone did not sound. There was a feeling I wanted to send a text to Dian, but I was afraid of interrupting her worship. So I just broke my intention.

While waiting for Dian, I thought back to last night. Fuckin' night, the first time I did it for me. Still imagined Dian's face when undergoing second by second even clock the curse. Everything is still clear.

"Arghhhh... Dog !" I complained in my heart.

"Bangsatttt !!" I was angry again, my heart felt so full of emotion. But it's hard to say.

I promise you, it won't be like that anymore. I will also try to control my emotions. Because of my determination to succeed. I don't want to be a loser, yeah... I don't want to be a loser in a city of people.

"Fring.. Kring.." arrived my phone rang and it turned out from Dian.

"Hallo," greet me.

"Fetch me, Ndre." she asked. "So I met mama, we were invited to eat first at the duck shop near the church."

"Oh, that's it." I'm a little surprised."Auntie said what? You didn't come home last night."

ask me again, the goal is so that I am not fooled if there is a Dian setting later.

"Yes, you just came here. Last night's problem I told him to sleep in his hostel Suci temen me. Safe to be Ndre." obviously.

"Oh, it's safe that way" I said.

"Why are you panicking ?" ask again.

"Engga, I'm kind of.awkward later Yan. My appearance is not good. Aunty would love to see me again." I explained.

"Don't call aunty, just call Mom Ndre. You've been spitting here. Very much you. Hahaha." lamented Dian.

"Yowiss, I'm on the way Yan."

I rushed to take my motorbike in the parking lot of the warjo and immediately rushed there.

Arriving in front of the church, I saw Dian waiting for me at the gate. He waved his hand as if to make sure I saw him. I approached him and handed him a spare helmet and let him sit in the back seat.

"Ngapain uses a motor. Near this." said Dian.

"Oh, which side is it ?" ask me.

"That's across the church." Dian also showed the location and correct location right in front of this place.

"Ok, I parked the motorbike inside first huh." I also say goodbye to Dian, to put my motorbike in the church's parking lot.

"Well, Mase is back to mending. Sembahyange wis completed kok Mas." greet the church parking lot. He seems to know me well, but I have only been to this place.

I smiled, then took out a pack of cigarettes and I took out two cigarettes that I meant to greet them.

"Haha... Cigarette Om." I offered a cigarette to that parking lot guy.

"Oh, I'm not. I'll take ya." replied the parking lot. "Sampeyan late, the wis on disperse." he explained again.

"I just couldn't pick her up from Om." I answered again, pointing my finger at Dian.

"Wealahhh, until it is considered nang kene congregation." explained the parking lot again.

"Haha.. Not Om." I said. "Yowiss Om, I'll call again. I used to do the motorbike here."

"Ready Mase. Calm.. Tote safe." replied the parking attendant who seemed to have become more familiar with me.

"Sip.. Pareung." my pamit.

"Excite.. Monggo mas."

Then I approached Dian and we both went to the duck food stall appointed by Dian.

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Inside the duck shop it turns out that Dian's mother is not alone. At the table he chose seemed to sit a middle-aged man who I thought might be his father Dian and another man whose age was not too old from me.

"Well, papah karo Mase here too anyway." said Dian while approaching the two to kiss hands.

I also followed Dian, approaching Mother, Father and Sister Dian to kiss their hands.

"Sik koe sopo ?" ask Dian's sister to me.

"I'm Dian Ka." I replied.

"Welehhh, your favorite. Ngintrogasi wae." bela Dian.

Dad Dian's gaze was so cold. Without further ado, he invited me to sit down. I faced her, Dian faced her Mother and Sister Dian sat on the other side.

"Bah, this is Andre. Dian college. Coincidentally there is a need around here so I invite all of you." Dian.

"Your God Nduk, talk to your boyfriend." chirped her sister Dian.

His father and mother Dian looked at me. I actually want to respond directly to Dian's expression. Yet...

"Gubrakkk" something rowdy happened under the table. It turns out Dian was kicking her sister's leg. Everyone at the table was shocked and we laughed at each other.

"Ayoo, talk later. Let's eat first." Said Dian's Father.

I saw they were all busy preparing rice and side dishes on their own. Then it turns out that before eating they all do prayer together according to their beliefs.

I was not awkward enough when preparing my meal, because Dian had already taken it and prepared it for me. I also did not forget to thank him.

When they eat, they don't talk much. We enjoy the same dishes. Sometimes her sister Dian offers to add rice or side dishes to me.

Because I thought it was enough, I turned down his offer.

After everything was done, her sister Dian introduced herself.

"I'm Chris De. Kawane Dian." said as she stuck out her hand.

"I am Andre, Mas." I replied, replying to his hand.

Suddenly, his father Dian extended his hand towards me as well.

"I'm Dian's Papa."

Everyone laughed, especially Dian. His face immediately looked red.

"I'm Andre, Pah." I shook Dian's Papa's hand.

"Son Andre, where's the real one ?" Ask Dian's Papa.

"Bandung Pah." answered me.

"Ealahhh, far away too." he said. "Meaning Chris, later if there is a reception with a sunda custom, Papah can learn to make a welcome from Mas Andre" said Papah Dian while throwing his gaze at Chris.

Chris began to joke by speaking Sundanese.

"Enya, Naon my tea." said Brother Chris.

"But not sambit loh sampeyan Mas." Dian then cleared me.

"Hahaha, it's normal" I replied.

We are finally getting closer. After enough, we got out of the duck shop. Mom and Dad said goodbye to go home first. Brother Chris said he wanted to go to the art studio on his campus and Dian instead just say goodbye to Papah and his mother to invite me to his family's makeup studio. I thought we were the same as continuing the conversation earlier at Dian's house.

Since I am only a guest of Dian, then I just follow Dian's wishes. Papah and Dian's mother also invited me to stop by his hangar.

Then we left each one of them behind the duck shop.

"You don't go home first ?" ask me .

"Today this Sunday, my schedule tidied up the hangar." replied Dian.

"Oh Ok." I just agree. Then Dian and I together entered the church parking lot to pick up the motorbike and left for the sanggar.

"Ciee, daughter.. Cuittt.." tempting parking lot.

"Haha... Safe Om. Thank you." greet me while walking out of the church gate.

"You know them ?" ask Dian.

"Engga, his acquaintance just this morning." I explained.

"Squeaky. I've known you for a long time." - Judes Dian.

"You have never seen them before." I asked again.

"A quick glance at me." replied Dian as she began to hug me tightly.

(connecting.).