A is for Ara
Aku

Two days ago.

Who would have thought someone who had been hiding for 2 years turned out to live in a penthouse that was very easy to find. Not only easy to find but also in the neighborhood where his family is located. Now I feel sorry for his family who continue to send people to look for his favorite child.

“What do you want from me?”

The opening question that managed to get me to divert attention from the scene outside the 20th floor window to the man who was staring intently at me. The sharp gaze he should not have given to someone who had just saved his life from the brink of pain. I forgot an important fact about her, no matter how frightened she felt for a moment, she would stick to the trust she had lived with. The only way to make him aware is to provide hard evidence, evidence that is very difficult to obtain with any power.

I opened the document on the table that he had been looking at hatefully. Looking at his current attitude, I believe he has already investigated the truth of the documents I sent him five days ago. I'm also pretty sure he's got a truth he doesn't want. I put photos of a woman and a man in and out of the hotel, a romantic dinner at a restaurant, and also when both of them visited the obstetrician.

“He's your brother's husband. You want to hurt your own brother?”

“How about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Women who fill your whole life break off a one-sided engagement and disappear without a trace turns out to be in a relationship with someone else's husband. And the more surprising thing is that they were already in a relationship when the man was still in a relationship with me.”

“…”

“Ah. Ali, that woman is the one who made your family almost lose the company.”

“Long,” he said in a tone full of disbelief.

“All the things that the woman leaked about your family company, to whom the information was leaked, how much she got. Everything is in the documents I brought today.”

Ali was just silently staring, making me believe his brain was still processing what he had just heard for the first time. I turned my gaze back to the dark scene full of light outside. The vehicle is still a lot of traffic, making me immediately see the clock in my hand which now shows at 1 am. I don't have much time left because I have to fly back to Indonesia.

“What do you want Ra?”

The question I have been waiting for Daritadi. When he said my name, I had earned his trust. For now, the trust I gained from her was still mixed with hatred.

“Give me all the information about my family your family knows.”

“You did all this.”

“I won't do anything stupid called revenge. I just want to have the weaknesses of everyone I know so they can't hurt me. I went.”

I picked up my bag and walked to the door.

“Wait.”

“…”

“Ra, who are you? It's very unlikely that your brother doesn't know what you're doing but I don't think anyone knows what you're doing.”

“I'm just Arasely Salsabila Azhar,” I said as I gave a smile and walked out of the penthouse.

I stared at the documents Ali left in my study flat. I didn't know I'd get paid this fast for what I gave him. What would he give if he found out I saved his family's company? Will this document arrive in my room sooner?

“Doctor Ara!”

“Log in,” reply me while putting documents in the bag.

Nisa nurse entered the room hesitantly. He looked at me very carefully, hinting that the thing he was about to say might be enough to offend me. I nodded, giving her permission to say the thing she wanted without caring about me.

“Can't I come with Doctor to central hospital?” whining.

I smiled, causing confusion. At least I don't have to force her to move in with me. He voluntarily entered the tiger's cage.

“You sure? There will be a lot of drama in that hospital.”

“No matter, the most important thing can be together with the Doctor. Together with my helper angel.”

The helper angel, the two sentences that could change my flat eyes turned into a surprised look. I never leave a trace when I help someone. I made sure over and over again and my secretary always made sure that no trace was left behind that could make anyone else aware of my existence.

How could he know?

“Chocolate kits and handkerchiefs courtesy of Doctor. The doctor gave me a chocolate kit-cat and a handkerchief 4 years ago. I would not have realized if only with chocolate, I only realized it 6 months ago when I saw a handkerchief owned by Doctor.”

“…”

“Doctor rest easy, I did not say this to anyone.”

“You don't hate me?” my question kept him quiet. She knew the exact meaning of my question and therefore could only look at me smiling in response.

“I will arrange everything, wait for the duty letter from the central hospital to come," I said as silence filled the room.

“Good,” his reply followed by a smile full of happiness. He looked at me for a moment before asking permission to leave my room which I replied with a nod.

I opened my desk drawer looking for handkerchiefs in the tens with the same pattern. I have to replace all these handkerchiefs. I can't let the same mistake happen. I opened the e-mail and immediately sent out an order to my secretary to dispose of all my handkerchiefs and replace them with regular handkerchiefs without any pattern. As soon as the e-mail was sent, I deleted it.

The clock shows at 4pm. I still want to drown myself in this room. I haven't wanted to drive for 1 hour to get home. And I still don't want my emotions to take back control of me.

“Kak?”

“What are you doing here?” I was surprised and immediately took the bag and walked out of the room to meet the little man who could always comfort my heart.

“Put up Brother.”

“Self?”

Just the pans he gave me. I don't think he wants to mention who came to pick me up with him because it would ruin the rest of my day. He took my bag and carried it. She was the only person who expressed my emotions to the outside world as I tried to cover up my own feelings. He is my only brother, Ayaan Muhammad Azhar.

“I've decided to become a regular doctor at the hospital,” he said made me stop in the middle of the hallway. The words he said were the ones I didn't want to hear. When the sentence appeared then he also gave up his biggest dream, a dream that he had maintained all along. I hate that phrase so much because it came up to me.

“Kak, I did it for myself.”

“Azhar, you just won an international race with your talent. Photographers you admire even send you solicitation letters to work together. Your dreams.”.

“My dream is to see Brother Ara happy,” cut it.

“What you do will not make me happy.”

“Kak, Azhar please, let Azhar decide all this.”

The back that I had thought was not carrying any weight was now bearing so much weight along with his footsteps. I've known for a long time that the burden of my family's business would be given to me but I only know now if there's someone willing to share this burden. The reason he wanted to share the burden with me, I hope it is not the same reason I voluntarily shoulder this burden.

“What do you need?” azhar asked making the man quite confused looking at me.

“She patient Sister.”

As soon as I heard my words, Azhar immediately retreated behind me. The man in front of me is now giving me a box of chocolate kits. Stupidly I thought I did not want to owe him anything, it was me who gave a debt to him.

“Thank you,” I said hesitantly while receiving a cardboard from him. People seem to be going after me if I don't accept what he's given. Even though I knew something like this could make me violate my code of conduct as a doctor and if anyone saw it, I could immediately report it.

“There are more kits than cadbury, I think you prefer kits,” reply meet my curiosity.

“…”

“I haven't introduced myself yet. I am Aiden Athhar Hamza, usually called Aiden.”

Now I know exactly why he gave me one chocolate cardboard. He wanted to get officially acquainted by trying to minimize physical contact with me. Even without the need for cardboard, I would not have any physical contact with him. My sign realized a smile was on my cheek, making him look at me again with the same gaze as he said ‘similar to him’.

“Arasely Salsabila Azhar.”

“I can call you with what call?”

“We will never meet again. I don't think it's necessary to get to know each other any further. Excuse me,” I said and immediately left him in the car.

Azhar looked at me and Aiden took turns before finally getting into the car. Aiden kept staring at the direction I was sitting in, making Azhar nudge my arm. I looked at Azhar, making her give a sign towards Aiden who was still faithfully staring at me. I'm really unlucky with this business of manners. I slowly lowered the window of the car, making Aiden smile. A smile I just saw.

“Ara,” I said making the smile on his face wider. People would have thought that she was in love at first sight with me but I think she was just grateful to find someone willing to listen and exchange stories with her. He just thinks of me as a psychiatrist and a new friend.

The car drove off and I nodded my head at Aiden. At least I have to give her a sign and a farewell because we will never see each other again. I immediately closed the car window as soon as Aiden's figure was not seen in the rearview mirror.

“Sister still likes to eat chocolate?” asked Azhar while picking up the cardboard on my lap.

“Difficult to get rid of old habits.”

“I hope Uncle Salman won't tell that patient to abi.” Azhar's sharp words made me re-conscious of the presence of a figure I did not want. I put up the earphones and listened to the murottal. I don't want to listen to the conversation that's about to happen. There will only be arguments.

Uncle Salman was already on abi's side even before we were born in this world. He became a confidant of abi and can be said he took part in educating us. He will punish us in place of Abi if we make a mistake that violates religion or ethics. Enough punishment could make us hate him but none of us could really hate him. Behind her assertiveness there is also a soft side that makes us feel loved by her as a child. Thanks to him, Azhar and I could feel the love of an abi that we could not get.

Since the incident five years ago, he stopped interfering in all my affairs. It was not without reason that he stopped interfering in my affairs, a guilt that made him stop paying attention to me. The day my world collapsed was the day he represented Abi to receive Haaris' proposal for Kak Lunna. The day my tears could not come out was the day he had promised to make the calculations with Haaris the day he embraced Haaris into the family. But to me, what he did was not as painful as my parents gave.

“Kak, it has arrived,” said Azhar slowly while waking me from sleep.

The first thing I did was just open my eyes and shut up, not trying to open the car door or do anything else. Neither Azhar nor Uncle Salman tried to say anything. We stayed in the car for a long time. Silence, only the sound of the engine that fills the spaces of the car.

I took the earphones out of my ear and opened the car door. The thing that I did made Azhar surprised and immediately joined in opening the car door. I think a

Azhar was afraid that I would suddenly leave.

Nothing has changed from the house I have left for 5 years. Only the flowers in the garden changed. I looked at the flowers that were blooming seriously. The flowers that I once loved so much and the flowers that symbolized me in this house.

“Ummi who asked for Lily and White Rose Flower," said Azhar fulfill my curiosity.

In accordance with what I think. Only Ummi can do this as a form of regret for my departure from home. The next instant I walked towards the door of the house without saying anything to Azhar and Uncle Salman, making both of them guess what was really on my mind at the moment.

A smile full of gentleness greeted me as soon as I set foot into the house. I salimmed Ummi and hugged him. He touched my cheeks with both hands, hoping I would give him a smile and a loving look. I could not give both of those things, I just stared at him flatly which made Azhar immediately take over my place. Ummi's gaze still followed me, making me uncomfortable.

The sound of another car entering the house area made my attention immediately to the white sedan car. I walked up to pick up the brown cardboard that Azhar had placed on the floor and walked straight to my room. I don't want to see ‘they’ yet.

Right in front of the door, I still saw my nameplate hanging. Soft pink signage with cloud and flowers decoration. My former self was very cheerful and full of tenderness, very different from my current self that was filled with black. I picked up the nameplate just as a voice I had been trying to forget for 5 years came back.

“Silver is fine?” ask Azhar. Looks like she followed me to make sure I was okay. I slowly exhaled my breath.

“Azhar,” call me.

“Ya?”

“I'm not okay. I'm going to take a break.”

I gestured Azhar to put my bag on the cardboard I was holding and went straight into the room, not letting Azhar in. My energy today was completely drained away. I need rest for my physical and especially mental.

It did not take me long to decide to take a bath and read the Quran while waiting for the Maghrib time to come.

The sound of an alarm stopped my recitation. I grabbed the phone from the bag and immediately turned off the alarm. As I was about to decide to continue my reading, the documents Ali gave immediately filled my eyes. Making my hand unconsciously take the document and open it. I didn't expect there would be much information Ali gave me looking at the thickness of the documents in my hands. I would have been more unexpected if Uncle Fatah, who was a close friend of abi, had so much information about the Azhar Family.

My eyes were glued to the DNA test results that showed no blood link. I immediately pulled the DNA paper to see what name was written on it. My body was petrified as soon as the name ‘Lalunna Inaaya Azhar’ appeared.

Tok.dok..

“Kak, abi told Sister to get off the congregational prayer’ah.”

I tidied up the documents in my hand and put them straight into the safe. The documents Ali gave me were too dangerous even for the Azhar Family. I had to ask if Ali read the documents he gave but I was also afraid that my question would make Ali curious.

“Kak?”

I rushed to the door and opened it. Azhar looked at me question mark. Without asking anything, he immediately placed the back of his hand against my forehead.

“Face Brother pale. I'll ask abi to let Brother pray in the room.”

I just nodded and let Azhar into my room. Azhar took the aromatherapy oil from the P3K box, making me her patient indirectly. I stopped Azhar as soon as she tried to check my pulse.

“I was just exhausted and had a cold shower. I'll be fine. Tell abi if I'll come to dinner.”

“Sister still thinking of coming to dinner? With all those people?”

“That's why Abi called me back home. Abi wants to warn me, warn my feelings.”

“Kak..”

“Quickly or later abi will try to collect everything back,” cut me.

“…”

“I can protect myself, Azhar. I won't let myself experience the same pain.”

“I hope what Brother said is the truth because if not, I, Azhar will make dinner today a disaster.”

...-----...